Men and women think differently.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Men and women think differently.
173
Wed, 12-14-2005 - 7:19am

There's an ad on TV that I've seen several times recently. It's for a national jewelry store chain. It starts with a woman sitting alone in her home on Christmas Eve. She was phoned by her man to inform her that a major snow storm might prevent him from getting home tonight. She hears the sound of a vehicle, and it turns out to be a snowplow that stops in front of her house. She looks out the window, and the man descends from the plow, having obviously moved heaven and earth to get home to her. They embrace, she looks at him with loving eyes, he gives her a gift of jewelry, and they hug again.

I'll bet most women think: "How romantic." As a guy, I was thinking: "He's going to get laid tonight!" Am I right, or do some of you think differently from what I expect for your gender?

Pages

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 12:36am

Ah yes, but fantasy is quite different from reality, isn't it? And no one said that men were "terrified." They are quite intrigued by the idea, but they don't want to have to worry about uncontrolled desire.

If you can't control that sexually aggressiveness and recklessness, then she isn't necessarily yours for long, is she?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2002
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 2:41am

"If you can't control that sexually aggressiveness and recklessness, then she isn't necessarily yours for long, is she?"

Fear of betrayal is universal. We could therefore equally say that women have always attempted to control male sexuality thoughout history. And you should note that monogamy and faithfulness are qualities found in female romance novels but not typical male porno movies, which feature women with huge libidos of the type which allegedly make men uncomfortable.

There are many men who fetishize the ravenous, uncontrolled sexual appetites of their women. I know of no such interest in the reverse direction.

"Poor analogy. We're not discussing body parts here, we're discussing libido, sexual response and behavior, which can vary widely from person to person."

The analogy is good enough, because in neither case does anyone have to resort to the absurd end of checking EVERY member of the group in order to form a valid generalization.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 11:18am

The double-standard is still alive and thriving. A man can sleep with as many women as he wants and he'd be a stud, whereas a woman would be a slut. Believe it or not it's a control tactic which still controls women's sexuality. Go to Askmen.com and you'll see how many young men still use it to control women's sexualty.

Oh, and I recently watched Howard's Stern's reviews of the Porn Academy Awards, and in it he puts down the porn actresses. Bascially calls them sluts. Sure, he'd do em, but I doubt he'd take them home to mama. Men may want ravenous women, but only those who are ravenous for them. tee hee In fact, I think that many men in a serious relationship have stated that they wouldn't want to share their woman(it's just fantasy)...and I think that just as many women as men would if they weren't in a relationship.

"There are many men who fetishize the ravenous, uncontrolled sexual appetites of their women. I know of no such interest in the reverse direction."

Oh my gosh! Haven't you ever read a romance novel? That's exactly what their basis is. The only difference is that there's a long build up of the raveneous appetite.....and the whole point of the book is their uncontrolled ravenous sexual appetites. I used to cheat and cut into the middle of the book just to get to the sex scene. ;-)




Edited 1/2/2006 12:16 pm ET by rain_dancer_iam
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 11:25am

...and what the others and I have been trying to show you is that those numbers aren't truly low. That those women are most likely masturbating which means that their libidos are in tact.

Let's put it this way....how many women do you know who masturbate? I can honestly say that almost every woman that I know masturbates. Even my own daughters have been mastubating since about nine(they both confided in me). It's absurd to think that women don't. Just think about this logcially. MOST women masturbate(and often), which means that most women have libidos.

I'll repeat again, that just because women do not express their sexuality exactly as men do, does not mean that they're not as sexual.

It's also been shown that women lie on stats(they did this with reference to number of partners) because....well....women, as I said, are confused about how they're suppose to be. ;-)

Do you really think that those women who aren't having sex with their husbands are not mastubating? Come on now! tee hee




Edited 1/2/2006 11:46 am ET by rain_dancer_iam
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2002
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 1:31pm

"The double-standard is still alive and thriving. A man can sleep with as many women as he wants and he'd be a stud, whereas a woman would be a slut. Believe it or not it's a control tactic which still controls women's sexuality. Go to Askmen.com and you'll see how many young men still use it to control women's sexualty."

How are lads using it to control women? The lads want sex. How is making them ashamed of sexuality going to help them here?!?

I hear about this double standard but I think it's exaggerated. Do women consider a man "a stud" or "a dog" if he's had very many partners?

"Oh, and I recently watched Howard's Stern's reviews of the Porn Academy Awards, and in it he puts down the porn actresses. Bascially calls them sluts. Sure, he'd do em, but I doubt he'd take them home to mama."

Yeah, it's the flip version of the nice guy/jerk division that many women have.

"There are many men who fetishize the ravenous, uncontrolled sexual appetites of their women. I know of no such interest in the reverse direction."

"Oh my gosh! Haven't you ever read a romance novel? That's exactly what their basis is. The only difference is that there's a long build up of the raveneous appetite.....and the whole point of the book is their uncontrolled ravenous sexual appetites. I used to cheat and cut into the middle of the book just to get to the sex scene. ;-)"

You misunderstand me. Of course there are hot sex scenes in romances, but the male hero isn't sleeping around willy nilly! Whereas if you google for "cuckold" and "hot wife", you'll find many men who like their wives to be sluts while they themselves remain faithful. Are there women that enjoy being faithful while their men are sleeping with whoever they like??

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 1:53pm

"How are lads using it to control women? The lads want sex. How is making them ashamed of sexuality going to help them here?!?"

Well....they want promiscous woman to have sex with them, but they aren't the women they choose to have emotional connections with or take home to mamma. They are the classifiers of "good girl" "bad girl."

"I hear about this double standard but I think it's exaggerated. Do women consider a man "a stud" or "a dog" if he's had very many partners?"

Well...society doesn't ostracize men for having many partners....because after all, it's expected and even perpetuated.

Rain: "Oh, and I recently watched Howard's Stern's reviews of the Porn Academy Awards, and in it he puts down the porn actresses. Bascially calls them sluts. Sure, he'd do em, but I doubt he'd take them home to mama."

"Yeah, it's the flip version of the nice guy/jerk division that many women have."

Huh? My point was that men really don't want women who are promiscuos and who would do any guy, any time....it's fantasy--plain and simple.

Akw: "There are many men who fetishize the ravenous, uncontrolled sexual appetites of their women. I know of no such interest in the reverse direction."

Rain: "Oh my gosh! Haven't you ever read a romance novel? That's exactly what their basis is. The only difference is that there's a long build up of the raveneous appetite.....and the whole point of the book is their uncontrolled ravenous sexual appetites. I used to cheat and cut into the middle of the book just to get to the sex scene. ;-)"

"You misunderstand me. Of course there are hot sex scenes in romances, but the male hero isn't sleeping around willy nilly! Whereas if you google for "cuckold" and "hot wife", you'll find many men who like their wives to be sluts while they themselves remain faithful. Are there women that enjoy being faithful while their men are sleeping with whoever they like??"

Huh....there are many men who enjoy their wives screwing other men? Where? Maybe in fantasy, but not in reality. Most men, wouldn't.

And again, my point about the romance novels, was that women DO want men who have ravenous, insatiable appetites--only for them. Again, just because a person has a sexual appetite for many as opposed to one, doesn't make one MORE sexual than the other.




Edited 1/2/2006 1:56 pm ET by rain_dancer_iam
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2002
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 2:56pm

<< Huh? My point was that men really don't want women who are promiscuos and who would do any guy, any time....it's fantasy--plain and simple. >>

The old ideal is a woman who is a saint in public and a whore in bed. Not completely one, or the other.

I don't see how any of this is lads controlling women, though.

<< Well...society doesn't ostracize men for having many partners....because after all, it's expected and even perpetuated. >>

How many women wish society would let them freely sleep with hundreds of partners without any grief? This is because of the difference in levels of sexuality between men and women, which you have been vociferously denying all this time. Society didn't make this up arbitrarily. It's observation.

<< Huh....there are many men who enjoy their wives screwing other men? Where? Maybe in fantasy, but not in reality. Most men, wouldn't. >>

Google for it. It's out there and in greater numbers than you think. My point is: here we have many men into this, but how many women would be into the reverse? Hahah!!

We could call it abnormal, but you've repealed that concept, so cuckoldry/hotwifing is as normal as eating butter on toast!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 3:28pm

<< Huh? My point was that men really don't want women who are promiscuos and who would do any guy, any time....it's fantasy--plain and simple. >>

"The old ideal is a woman who is a saint in public and a whore in bed. Not completely one, or the other."

But...whore's themselves, eh? Oh, and that was the point. She'd be a whore, and of course, by his standards he's not.

"I don't see how any of this is lads controlling women, though."

As long as women hear men calling women who have more partners than they deem "respectable" sluts, then men's choices, will control women's choices.

<< Well...society doesn't ostracize men for having many partners....because after all, it's expected and even perpetuated. >>

"How many women wish society would let them freely sleep with hundreds of partners without any grief? This is because of the difference in levels of sexuality between men and women, which you have been vociferously denying all this time. Society didn't make this up arbitrarily. It's observation."

Huh? Of course women would want such freedoms...even if SOME of them don't exercise them. Imagine, a woman doing whatever the heck she pleases sexually, just like a man without being labeled a slut or not being considered relationship worthy by men? Whether or not a woman exercises such freedom is incidental--she still would like them. I wonder....hmmmmm....what would happen. Like Kat said....is there some fear of what would? tee hee Also, do you think that women wouldn't want men to be less promiscuous? Why wouldn't they?

<< Huh....there are many men who enjoy their wives screwing other men? Where? Maybe in fantasy, but not in reality. Most men, wouldn't. >>

"Google for it. It's out there and in greater numbers than you think. My point is: here we have many men into this, but how many women would be into the reverse? Hahah!!"

So even if more men were into this than women, what does that prove? That men are more sexual than women? I don't see the connection. ;-)

"We could call it abnormal, but you've repealed that concept, so cuckoldry/hotwifing is as normal as eating butter on toast!"

Yep, it is--it's normal for those folks who enjoy it. ;-)

Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 3:36pm
Oh, and one more question....do you see men who are into cuckolding/hotwifing as more sexual than men who aren't?
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2002
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 4:18pm

<< As long as women hear men calling women who have more partners than they deem "respectable" sluts, then men's choices, will control women's choices. >>

I don't see why this is any more than women control men. As long as young women prefer jerks over nice guys, girls are pressuring lads into being slicker players.

<< Imagine, a woman doing whatever the heck she pleases sexually, just like a man without being labeled a slut or not being considered relationship worthy by men? >>

I think most women are rather content with society as it is.

<< So even if more men were into this than women, what does that prove? >>

Contradicts the conspiracy theory that men are terrified of women's sexuality, as katmandoo suggested. Not only does male porn depict voracious women, but plenty of men want one in real life too!!

<< Oh, and one more question....do you see men who are into cuckolding/hotwifing as more sexual than men who aren't? >>

I already said that I don't think people who are into fetishes are more sexual. I wonder what sort of attention you're paying.

Pages