Men and women think differently.
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| Wed, 12-14-2005 - 7:19am |
There's an ad on TV that I've seen several times recently. It's for a national jewelry store chain. It starts with a woman sitting alone in her home on Christmas Eve. She was phoned by her man to inform her that a major snow storm might prevent him from getting home tonight. She hears the sound of a vehicle, and it turns out to be a snowplow that stops in front of her house. She looks out the window, and the man descends from the plow, having obviously moved heaven and earth to get home to her. They embrace, she looks at him with loving eyes, he gives her a gift of jewelry, and they hug again.
I'll bet most women think: "How romantic." As a guy, I was thinking: "He's going to get laid tonight!" Am I right, or do some of you think differently from what I expect for your gender?

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I agree with you, rain dancer. I'm a male. If I am angry with my partner, emotionally hurt, or whatever, I am much less likely to want sex with her. I think one of the great myths re: men is that we are ready to have sex almost anytime with almost anyone. Simply not true, IMHO.
I do think that, as a group, men are more likely than women to be be able to separate sex from emotion, but men are influenced by emotional issues. We are not sexual machines.
I'm not claiming anything, Rice, people are different. And I can only relate what I know to be true in my life, just as you seem to be.
Certainly, there are PEOPLE, not just women, who do not like sex but as long as you continue to use generalized male standards to judge a woman's interest, then you're going to have problems.
And I actually have the higher drive in my marriage, always have. So, I guess I could complain that my DH isn't a "normal male" by your standards, because he doesn't want to have sex as much as I do. But I can accept that we're all different when it comes to libido, as can he. Just works better that way. We adjust and we compromise to meet in the middle on frequency and have for almost 30 yrs.
IF your expectation is sex on demand, then you're not going to find that with any woman or man, I'm afraid. At least, not after the initial honeymoon period.
But the majority of women love sex, they just love it in a different, female way. And besides, intercourse isn't the be-all and end-all of sex for us. It's just one aspect.
Edited 12/21/2005 2:47 pm ET by katmandoo2001
I'd have to say that's a pretty fair assessment. It comes from personal experiences where if the man (i.e. me) doesn't initiate sex then it doesn't happen; to the experiences of friends who spoke of the difficulty in getting dates/girlfriends/wives to let them have sex with them; to observing society where virtually all of the 'sex industry', such as strip joints, prostitution, and porn, is driven by and directed toward men.
I'm guessing what you, Kat, and Tish are getting at: that women have as strong a sex drive as men but they are better at controlling and suppressing it than men, and that they express it in some mysterious manner that most men don't recognize. If so, then I certainly was fooled, but then I think that women have an advantage in hiding their sexuality. Because they are constantly being pursued by men wanting to have sex with them, they don’t actually have to DO anything if they do want to have sex. Not all the time, of course, but most of the time.
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