Men.... the flip side of Mancreature's ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Men.... the flip side of Mancreature's ?
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Mon, 05-03-2004 - 9:02am

Mancreature's post down below....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 9:19am
hi Tish...i'm not a guy but its interesting you bring this up as i've recently been polling men around me as to this thought of can men find sexual pleasure and satisfaction with "any" female?....and it seems the unanimous answer is "yes" despite that many men prefer to be emotionally bonded to a lover...it does seem the male is different in that they *can* derive pleasure more easily, the male orgasm is not as illusive as the females can be....i've often teased men that they can basically "rub against" anything and cum and it seems they agree this is true LOL...whereas the female orgasm often takes more skill, care, familiarity, etc to happen...so the last few weeks i've been asking male co-workers/friends "can you basically close your eyes and hold your breath and get off on most any female?" and each and every one of them have replied "um....yea" LOL...meanwhile i'm happy to say most added "i AM a monogomous man" and "i'm not into sex with strange women"...but it seems to be the bottom line is they CAN derive pleasure more easily with a strange woman, even one they find unattractive and not very arousing.

just my $.02, i'm curious to read the replies from guys.

honey

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 10:00am
Hi Tish,

Good point. I was reading Mancreature's post and was thinking that men and women are not that far apart, although there is a lot of talk that we are SO different.

Masturbation to me is exactly as some of the female posters described: It is PURELY a physical release and not fully satisfying at all. Not nearly the sort of experience that I have with my wife.

I also know that some men have no problems with "one nighters", however, the couple of times that I have had these experiences (back in College), they left me very empty and unsatisfied (even as a young man). I learned from those one nighters, that without emotional commitment from both of us, that sex was just masturbation with a breathing partner. I too would probably not use an "escort" for sex. Having said that, I don't begrudge someone that would want to visit a pro. Not my thing, however, I have a difficult time with the idea that prostitution should be illegal. Why is it illegal to sell something that you can give away?

ANyway, just my two cents.

Peace.

Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 10:24am

Hi Scott,


I don't think there is a lot of difference between men and women in general regarding emotions and sex.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 10:31am
My DH answered these questions for me. Even though he detests message boards! LOL!

1. Do men want/need emotions with sex?

Yes, I do and I waited so that I DID have them before becoming sexually intimate....at least as far as intercourse was concerned. Sure, I love sex but I wasn't willing to go out and use someone to get it. I guess I missed out on the "cad gene."

2. Is it something an older man needs but younger doesn't?

Not for me....I've always needed the emotions to be present. I never wanted sex, just for sex's sake. I could never have had sex with a woman, who was probably expecting more, and never call her again. I have sisters so I can imagine how that must feel. How I would feel!

I think there ARE guys who are only interested in "scoring" no matter how much or little they actually like the woman, in other words..."any vagina will do". But I think most people, women AND men, want the whole package and are willing to wait for it. I wanted my sexual experience to mean more than that, personally.


Edited 5/4/2004 2:32 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 10:36am
Scott and Tish....i agree, from men i have talked to the majority say the same, that sex without emotional involvement is empty and like masturbation....the thing that struck me as interesting is both Scott and Tish's husband used the term "masturbation" to describe sex with a stranger, inferring that they DO orgasm during the encounter...this is different because it seems (from talking to my girlfriends and reading the female replies to mancreatures question) it IS less likely a woman will orgasm with a strange man...so the fact seems to remain that despite that men find stranger sex less fulfilling they DO find it will end in orgasm, whereas women often need a "familiar" touch to orgasm...so in essense men and women ARE very different (and yet similar)....and if i were without a partner and wanting to orgasm and growing bored with masturbating alone, i *might* consider a stranger fling IF (as with many men) i was certain it would lead to my orgasm, but being a female and knowing i will most likely NOT cum during a stranger fling i won't bother.

just my observation.

honey

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 10:47am
Scott, I think it remains illegal because of the desperation factor. Many(or perhaps most) prostitutes, are desperate....which in a way, means "not of sound mind." Perhaps the laws remain as a deterrant to exploitation.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 11:10am
I would agree. There are very few, if any, prostitutes who do it because they enjoy it or chose to do it. They are typically drug addicts and/or victims of past sexual abuse and fall into as a last resort.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 11:16am
Dear FTC,

Good point and so true. However, one of the reason I believe that so many women (an young men) that are prostitutes are able to make money as prostitutes is because it is illegal. If you had legal brothels, it would be a business that was protected by law; it would be safer for both parties (both medically and legally). Drugs have the same problem, because it is illegal, people that are desperate etc. tend to sell drugs. Many of the teens that are currently selling their bodies would no longer be able to because most people would rather visit a clean, safe establishment rather than visiting a protitute that may have AIDS, herpes etc. Also, police efforts could be focused strictly on juvenile prostitution rather than adult prostitution.

There are desperate people that work in slaughter houses, but we don't make it illegal because they are desperate. I think the reason that prostitution is illegal is probably more of an property rights issue (who wants a brothel next door to a daycare)and a moral question. There have to be a lot of things that need be legally worked out. However, I think the morality argument that most use for illegal prostitution (I realize that's not your argument) is silly. The property rights argument is a pretty good one, but you could work that out if you had small towns that decided that they wanted to have a legal prostituion industry (as in Nevada).

Good to talk to you.

Peace.

Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 11:17am

I see your point that most men will

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 11:29am
You assume that the largest market is for adult prostitutes...and you also assume that the patrons would want it legalized. I think the allure of prostitution itself, is the sleaziness of it(at least the largest market).

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