men, masturbation and sex drive

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
men, masturbation and sex drive
12
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 3:17pm
wow, i havent' been here in a while, but i have a quick question i hope someone could answer. My BF just told me he hasn't masturbated in a LONG time because he learned in high school that it lowers your sex drive. I knew already that naturally men can't keep having erections/orgasms immediately over and over, but it seemed like he meant it was a long-term effect of masturbation, and i never heard of that, i just wondered if anyone knew if that was true. Is it also possible that NOT masturbating could actually lower sex drive, because he's been having problems in that area for almost a year now, and i wondered if that might be a cause instead of what he was saying about benefits of not masturbating. If anyone has any insights, they would be appreciated! thanks!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 3:30pm
I never heard that masturbation decreases sex drive. Actually with me masturbation increases mine! It's sort of like practicing for the big game, staying "warmed up" and loose. lol

Maybe he is embarrassed to admit that he masturbates??

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 3:33pm
No, I don't believe it lowers the sex drive, no more than having a lot of sex would lower a guys sex drive.





~Tish


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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 3:43pm
Maybe MOMENTARILY it lowers a man's drive once he's fulfilled but I think he's confused, too.

Perhaps you should point out that this theory obviously is having the opposite effect on HIM, so maybe he should start "priming the pump" again.

He may need to talk with his dr. too. He could be depressed or have some other underlying condition.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 7:56pm
If having more sex doesn't lower your sex drive then why would masturbation lower your sex drive? Ask him that and see how he answers. :) I have never heard of masturbation lowering anyone's sex drive. It usually increases mine. I also think he should talk to a doctor if he is having a lower sex drive. Maybe to get him more comfortable with masturbation, you should try mutual masturbation. It might make him more comfortable with the subject if he is embarrassed. HTH
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 11:37pm
Sex Drive, otherwise known as libido.....is regulated mostly by hormones, mainly testosterone. Whether a man masturbates daily or has sex daily, the body doesn't know the difference. Masturbation has NO effect on anything, anymore than having sex 2-3 times a day.

You say he has "problems" in that area? What kind of problems? Lack of interest, or erection problems? Lack of interest could be due to low hormone levels. It could also be the result of problems outside the bedroom. Erection problems could be due to medications he's taking, or stress, or depression, or medical problems such as diabetes or other vascular problems.

If he's had a sudden drop in interest.......maybe he should see a doctor, an Urologist, who specializes in sexual problems. Talk to him, and express your concern about his health. Have him get a check up, and if everything checks out ok, then there's something emotional going on.

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 8:09am
The guy the original poster refers to just might mean that if he masturbates ,lets say in the morning, the urge to have sax is gone for the rest of the day,(which means to him it has decreased his desire). Could be that simple.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 8:46am
I understand what you're saying, but that's not what HE says.... He says he learned in high school that ANY masturbation will decrease his overall sex drive, and he claims that he doesn't masturbate at all, because of that. Obviously, it's not working, because he's losing his interest in sex. This could be because of many reasons...that have nothing to do with masturbation.

It's also possible, as one poster stated, that he IS masturbating on a regular basis, but because of his "beliefs" isn't admitting it. If he's going at it too much, that certainly could be a reason that he's not interested in partner sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 11:06am
thanks to everyone who replied! i shared some of your thoughts with him and he was surprised. We'll see what happens....

oh, some of you mentioned that maybe he was just not admitting that he masturbates, which was a good point, but he's very open-minded about sex in general and not really embarrassed about anything, so i really doubt that was the case.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 7:02pm
Hi aranti. Great post!

Instead of giving you my two cents on it, I'll simply say that I agree with the views of Michael Ra Bouchard, M.A., Ph.D., member of the American College of Sexology and the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality.

Basically what I learned from his words is that each of us has our own individual "normal" sexual frequencies, frequencies that differ from person to person. This includes masturbation. If he's been doing something that keeps him within his sexual normality, whether solo or with a partner, then the good doctor didn't seem to express concern. Only concern I learned from him was when changes were made that went outside that normal range that varies with each individual.

Basically I viewed his advice as not to worry about it unless you notice negative affects. I would guess these affects would include either increased need or more of a lack of it all together. In fact, there's a web page by Dr. Newman K. Lin, Ph.D., PE, that discusses his views, in detail, regarding the symptoms of possible over-masturbation:

"Over-ejaculation melts down the acetylcholine/parasympathetic nervous functions...it causes the brain and adrenal functions to perform excessive dopamine-norepinephrine-epinephrine conversion and turn the brain and body functions to be extremely sympathetic. It results in the brain's and nervous dysfunctions, stress, anxiety, impatience, eye floaters or fuzzy vision, buzzing (noisy) ears, cardiovascular irregularities, urinary incontinence..."

Because Dr. Lin's sight does sell products, I don't believe I'm permitted to provide the link while posting, but you can look him up for yourself and check out the section on masturbation.

Hope this helps. Here's the link to Dr. Bouchard's article:

http://www.ivillage.com/relationships/experts/sexpro/qas/0,,189265_257710,00.html

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 11:00am
No, it definitely has no affect on your sex drive. That's ridiculous. The only thing that COULD happen is that if a guy masturbates one day and then tries to have sex with his partner the next or same day, the orgasm could be harder to achieve.

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