Men rejecting sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2013
Men rejecting sex
3
Sun, 07-21-2013 - 9:22am

This past summer I've experienced something I never thought I would ever experience. Men rejecting sex. 

I am in my early 20's so I'm very sexual and really enjoy sex. I was talking to these 2 guys from Tinder. They were 5-7 years older than me, extremely attractive, and successful. I'm currently in college. Tinder is mostly for hookups so I decided I wouldn't mind just hooking up.

One of the guys I've talked to for months before we met because I was at school. After 3 months of texting, we finally met. Our texts were incredibly sexual and very flirty. We've met up twice and we've fooled around yet when it comes to having sex, he freaks out and says he wants to take things slow or "just put the tip in." Haven't seen him since.

The second guy and I hang out. Once again, we have a great hookup. Our texts are sexual and all he talks about is the great sex we're gonna have. While hooking up in bed he says "I can't believe you only had sex with 4 guys. I've had sex with so many girls and I don't think I want my number to get higher." He said that an hour after texting me how badly he wanted to have sex. We never text again. 

So I had two sex rejections in one summer. Usually at college I've had the best looking athletes and guys at parties approach me. This is absolutely bizzare. Could it be that they're older and feel bad having sex with a younger girl? Guilt?I've done EVERYTHING but sex with them. Would having sex make things that much different? 

Please send thoughts and advice. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2013
Sat, 08-10-2013 - 6:33pm

men today want to save themselves for the right woman and not just for a summer fling. i think that it is a good idea because when you think bout it is mainly the guy who wants to hit an quit a female not the other way around. when you think about the pressure men have with finding the one to seduce and not thinking about how the woman would feel afterwards makes the situation a little bit more intense don't you think. have you ever had sex with your mind? if not then you are missing something major here. I know alot of men and women think that they want the full blast of sex and really they do not. it is the character of image that makes the mind wonder what the body would look like in different sexual positions or in a sexual stance. sex is art and whomever the artist is makes alot of differnece. i know that you think that you have been rejecting but i think that you have been reevalueed the promise of being a woman with standards. it is alot of ways of getting pleasure you have to be able to know how to go about the right moves in order to reach what you seek. i think that a woman of your calibur should really consider the worth of her demenor in ways that speak volumes to the male. so when you want to try and see what is different with men try and see what is good with yourself too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Mon, 08-12-2013 - 3:56am

I don't know what tinder is, but if it's "mostly" for hookups....then why would they be there?  Maybe they just get off talking about it, and have no desire to do it.  And, by the way, what you ARE doing is sex.....it's all sex up to and including intercourse.  Maybe they're afraid of getting you pregnant?  Maybe, like most men down deep, they don't respect a woman who's interested in sex with strangers.  That's something you'd have to ask them.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2011
Thu, 08-29-2013 - 2:42pm

As far a rejecting a girl's advances, as I get older (I'm about twice your age) I find that there is a very very specific type of girl that works for me, whether for hooking up or for regular dating.  Outside those boundaries, which get narrower as the years go by, I'm just not that interested -- the raw attraction just isn't there and the whole thing's a waste of time.  PM me if you want, and I'll fill you in on my little list -- it's un-PC to write down some of the things here and there's too high a risk of offending someone. 

I've never ever heard the excuse the second guy used though -- my number's so high that I don't want it to get higher. Lol it's more like, my number's so high that I don't have any difficulty adding a few more.