MEN- would sex on a first date put yo...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
MEN- would sex on a first date put yo...
12
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 2:03pm

MEN- would sex on a first date put you off having a relationship with the woman?



  • Yes-Please state why
  • No


You will be able to change your vote.


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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 2:09pm

I answered for my DH because we've discussed this many times over the years.

He would PROBABLY be put off by available sex on the 1st date because it would cause doubt for him AND whatsmore...it should cause doubt for HER! OF course, it would depend on how long you've actually known one another before the 1st date, too.




Edited 5/3/2005 2:11 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-1999
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 3:25pm

It's a two-way street, isn't it? I mean, they both consent to the sex.

I don't know how you can disqualify a woman for having sex on the first date when you are having sex on the first date, too. Seems hypocritical.

And believe me, I doubt guys think about this much. I very much doubt most men would dismiss a woman for this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2005
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 4:37pm
I voted yes, because in my opinion, Sex is not a past time. If she can't wait until they can at least remember my name, I have to wonder how many times she's done this in the past. I wouldn't be sleeping with just her, I'd be sleeping with the countless one night stands before her. The same goes for the guy who TRIES (even if she is the initiator)to have sex with her on the first date, if I were her I'd be just as concerned. I'll admit, it's been 16 years since I was married, but I don't think things in the dating scene have changed THAT much, have they? That's just my opinion.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 5:33pm

You obviously didn't read my whole post since my DH said exactly the same thing you did about it being a mutual decision!

He just feels that WOMEN should be as concerned about a man who will hop in the sack on the 1st date, especially if they just met.

And no, my DH isn't hypocritical in the least. He lives his own beliefs and was a virgin when we met and married. So, obviously, he never held a woman to a higher standard than he held himself.

But, believe ME, men DO think about it. They may not say it AT the time, because they want sex, but they do consider it. Hypocritical or not, life isn't fair and double standards are alive and well.




Edited 5/4/2005 1:42 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 5:36pm

So, worrieddadof3, I'm curious. You've told us how you'd feel about it, but not how you rationalise it.
What about what's been said? That it's a two way street.

If you find yourself in bed with this woman on a first date, how can you judge her for being in bed with you?

Maybe she shares your feelings, but like you, has found herself in bed with you?

Why is it OK for you to have sex on a first date, but not for the woman?

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 5:48pm
"The same could be said for a guy who TRIES (even if she is the initiator) to sleep with her on the first date."
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 5:56pm

I voted for my DH

We had sex on the day we met....nearly 13 years ago. And we have barely been apart since.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 8:14am
DH & I had sex on our second meeting(and I had only had relationship-sex prior) 27 years ago. Today, with STD's rampant, you have to wonder about someone who would take such high risks.
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2005
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 12:50pm
I think I said that the woman who finds herself in the same situation should be concerned about the guy too. I didn't say one is worse than the other. If I were to date a woman who initiated sex on the first date, I'd be put off and would not reciprocate. If the guy initiates it, the woman should feel the same. This is my opinion. Call me old fashioned. : )
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 1:39pm

"With STD's rampant, you have to wonder about someone who would take such high risks."

And for one night of meaningless sex, that's no small consideration either.

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