Mercy sex.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
Mercy sex.....
11
Fri, 05-26-2006 - 2:21pm
Not sure what you might call it but, have you ever had sex with someone, or them with you, as a favor of sorts? In other words, have you ever had sex to help someone lose their virginity, or to help a "lonely" acquaintance.
I don't mean this to sound bad, I just know of people who have done this and was wondering how common it might be.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: luvlickin
Fri, 05-26-2006 - 3:51pm

No, I haven't and don't plan on ever having mercy sex or pity sex.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for sugarbeat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: luvlickin
Fri, 05-26-2006 - 8:20pm
when i was younger if a guy cried around me i had a tendancy to have sex with them or give them a blow job. it did seem to make them feel better. i don't know how this tendancy developed. i wasn't a very affectionate type and that was probably as nurturing as i could get.
Avatar for gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: luvlickin
Fri, 05-26-2006 - 11:27pm
Sugarbeat, are you saying that you are no longer the compassionate woman you were when you were younger, and would not do the same thing today if a man cried in front of you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
In reply to: luvlickin
Fri, 05-26-2006 - 11:45pm

When I was a lot younger, I heard that term....more graphically expressed....but it wasnt' about "helping" a virgin or a lonely person.

It was about someone SO pathetic that they'd never get anyone to have sex with them...so someone would take pity on them....and do it.

I knew a guy who drove me nuts asking me to go out with him...and I had NO interest in him. But he wouldn't let up.....so eventually I said ok. He picked me up in a car that was absolutely filthy, full of McDonalds bags on the floor, couldn't see out the windows, etc. He took me to a nice place for dinner. During dinner, I realized he had a sinus condition, and he "honked" all thru the meal. On top of that, all he could talk about was his ex wife, and how she told him he was a loser. He segued from that into how he wished she could see him now....out with a beautiful woman! All in all, he was pathetic, and all I could think of was how to end the evening. Then he wanted to go to a club that just happened to be in a hotel, because of a great band that was there. I told him ok, but that I had to get up early the next AM so I couldn't stay late. He excused himself to use the washroom, and when he came back, he put a room key down in front of me! At that point I had all I could do not to laugh in his face. But then I felt so sorry for the poor guy......Believe me, it WAS mercy, all two minutes of it. lol I never heard from him again, and I was SOOOO happy!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
In reply to: luvlickin
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 1:09am
LOL! I have mercy sex with myself at least twice a month totally due to "a favor of sorts"; and "lonely"! :)
Avatar for sugarbeat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: luvlickin
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 12:18pm
still compassionate, but haven't been around too many crying men. i didn't have much of a social life while i was in law school for the past 4 years and towards the end got into a serious relationship -- now i give it up whether he cries or not. and i'm doing the monogomy thing, so any other crying men will only get a sympathetic ear and a pat on the back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
In reply to: luvlickin
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 1:12pm
I was single at the time and ran into a friend of a past girlfriend I'd had.
We talked and reminisced for awhile while having a few drinks and then the conversation turned to flirting and sexual in nature. She ended up telling me that she envied her friend who I had dated because I had a mustache and she always wanted a guy with a mustache to go down on her. Well, my name is luvlickin, so I gave her her wish in the back seat of her car. LOL Never saw her again after that.
I also did this once for a female friend whose husband would not go down on her.
I felt guilty about that one, but I was younger and just couldn't understand why a man wouldn't want to do that for his woman.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2006
In reply to: luvlickin
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 1:19pm

I guess it depends on what all is counted as mercy sex. I have never taken anyone's virginity or slept with someone because I felt sorry for them. I did have a friend that I slept with on occation just to take care of needs. We weren't dating. We loved eachother, but not in that way. I guess you would call it friends with benefits.


Image hosting by Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2006
In reply to: luvlickin
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 3:55pm

My best gal friend was a virgin and had first time sex with her boyfriend because he thought she held it off for too long. Does that count as mercy sex?
Personally, i agree with Tish on this one. I would never have pity\mercy sex. I wouldn't want a guy to feel obligated to do that to me. The cliche line is "Treat others the way you would like to be treated".

;) Mimmi

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: luvlickin
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 6:21pm

LOL!

This has reminded me of a time that I did just that. And it turned into possibly the most embarrassing sex-related incident of my life.

Back when I was a student I went to a small party that some friends were having. Pretty low key event sitting around the house, music, alcohol. I completely struck out with the girl that I was interested in. So end of the night comes along, everyone heads off home or to bed, a couple of the guys crash on the sofas, suddenly I find that my arm has been grabbed and one of my classmates is telling me that I'm coming to bed with her. Now, I'm pretty drunk and tired at this point. This classmate is a semi-nice enough girl beneath the gruff exterior, but she certainly wasn't ever going to win any Miss personality or Beauty contests. Under normal circumstance I would have never in a million years slept with her. I have a bit of a chuckle and as I'm being dragged down the hallway towards her bedroom I still think that this is all a bit of a good joke as my brain tries to process what, exactly, is going on and, what, exactly is she up to.

By the time I found myself in her dark bedroom and pinned against the dresser, with dressing table items falling to the ground, it suddenly dawned on me that she actually wanted sex.

I wasn't really into that with her. To this day I'm still not sure why I went along with it as much as I did - I was barely capable of "maintaining" anything at that point. I kinda had sex in halfhearted way and felt curiously detached the whole time. I guess that I felt sorry for her more than anything and it was a classic case of a mercy f****.

So I woke up the next morning. She was still out to it. Roommate knocks on the door. She has a phonecall from her mother. I try to wake her up. She doesn't move. I try a bit harder. She doesn't move. I try really hard to wake her and she just moans a bit. I start to twig whats happened and I tell roommate to tell mother that she's popped down to the shops and will be back shortly. I knew that she was a diabetic - and yes, she was in a diabetic coma, no doubt brought on by the copious amounts of alcohol the night before.

She'd just moved into this house and none of the roommates even knew what I was talking about, nor did they know anything about where any insulin might be! Nothing in the fridge. Only one thing for it - call an ambulance.

I got her partially dressed in the intervening few minutes and listened to the roommates make jokes about how I must be real good or real bad in bed to have that effect on a girl.
Paramedics arrived and within three minutes she sits bolt upright and is fully concious - and well on the way to being very, very embarrassed.




Edited 5/27/2006 6:22 pm ET by westridge2001

Pages