more anal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2006
more anal?
4
Fri, 12-08-2006 - 1:12pm
Recently my boyfriend has been fingering my ass while we're having sex and it drives me crazy. At first he just teased with a fingertip, and he saw how much I liked it so he uses the whole finger now. I'm fantasizing about having anal sex now but I don't know how to ask him. Mostly because I'm worried about things being messy (NOT sexy) and also because I think it's probably best to ease into it, like slowly work up to taking his penis so it doesn't hurt. I'm just not bold enough to bring it all up yet. Do women do anything to prepare if they're worried about it being 'messy'? How do men....um...gently work a girl up to that? In porns they just slide it all the way in and start pumping. I don't think I want it that way! Not yet anyway ;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
In reply to: butterflyz23
Fri, 12-08-2006 - 7:25pm

Honestly if you want to try it just tell your boyfriend. From my experience guy are estatic to do it (usually). To "work up" to it just take it easy, have him go in slow or do it in a position where you control how much goes in and how quickly to pump it. And use LOTS of LUBE. It's agreat him. Usually I take a bath beforehand and make sure i'm all cleaned out. There's never really been any real "mess" with it and me and him are usually satisfied. Anal can be fun and exciting so enjoy it.

Luaren

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
In reply to: butterflyz23
Sat, 12-09-2006 - 1:56am
Sex toys are a great way to explore anal fun ... try visiting a sex shop website and buy a few toys to try out together ... not only does this allow you to explore your own ability to take greater things up your butt (as you seem to be craving your guy's penis) but you can buy a few different sizes to start out with and that way you can work up to his real unit ... toys are fun and can really spice up your sex lives ... be sure to shop with him so he can see your interest and also to make sure he is okay with the idea of you wanting to explore further anally ... I wouldn't worry ... he seems to be enjoying his finger foreplay already!!! Last words of wisdom, educate yourself a little on the do's and don't's of anal sex ... for starters, never insert anything up your butt and then directly into the vagina ... including his penis! Oh, and a good water-base anal lube is a MUST!!! Good luck and have fun!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
In reply to: butterflyz23
Sat, 12-09-2006 - 6:32am
Several suggestions. He should always use a condom to prevent him getting a uniary infection. Use lots of lube and when you think you have enough use some more. Start with an anal toy. If you are concerned about cleanliness, get a Fleet Enema and empty the laxative solution and refill with lukewarm water. It doesn't take much water to do the job. Use the enema and expel. Then shower and use a soapy finger. This should make you squeeky clean. I also do this before she uses an anal toy to massage my prostate. Have fun!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
In reply to: butterflyz23
Sat, 12-09-2006 - 1:11pm

uh..be careful with the soapy finger...it's gonna sting rather unpleasantly the first many times you do it, I really don't think that's a good way to get comfortable with anal sex.

The enema suggestion is often given, but I really don't recommend that, either. While the common wisdom is "the anus has no natural lubrication", I don't think that's entirely true -- the rectum contains a certain amount of mucus in its linings. The enema is going to remove some of that (less so with just water), and I don't think that's a good thing. I have no medical research to back that up...just a bit of mechanical understanding, and having stuck my fingers in a few anuses, some of which were considerably "slicker" than I'd have expected.

Instead, when it comes to concerns about cleanliness, I recommend "just get over it" :) A little "mess" isn't going to kill anyone, or even make you the slightest bit ill. It's part of the territory. If he's had his finger there, he's possibly already made friends with the contents of your rectum. In my case, the first time I did that, I went from "Holy cow, this is incredible, I have my finger in her anus!" to "uhm..I know what I'm feeling here" back to "holy cow, this is incredible, I have my finger ..." in about two seconds. :) If he can't handle a little "mess" as part of a very good bargin for him (and hopefully you!), he's got issues...