More and more fantasies
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More and more fantasies
| Tue, 08-10-2004 - 9:26am |
Hey all. I haven't been on this board for a while; it's good to be back! I've been going through some type of phase where I'm fantasising about being in a threesome (with people other than DH), having dreams about having sex with other muscular, hot men...my DH catches me moaning in my sleep. I get so excited that I attack DH and we have hot sex, but the entire time I'm with him, I'm not "with" him. I'm with the muscular guy in my dream. Don't get me wrong, DH is very handsome to me. He's 6'1 and average, not muscular.
Oh, I'm also reminiscing about my bachelorette night. For any of you ladies who have been to Philadelphia to the Cave strip club...I had an experience there that I don't think they normally do. My friend paid for a private lap dance with one of the strippers in the upstairs loft. He was all over me! He actually unzipped my top, pulled my bra down and started kissing my bbs!!!! He even stuck his tongue in my mouth! I'm not lying! I have pics to prove it! My girlfriend was shocked! I'm still wondering why he did that, it's not like I'm a hottie. I'm average. There were tons of pretty girls in there and nobody went through that. I've been thinking and thinking about that night and getting very excited wondering why I was "holding back" that night, and how I want to go back and see if he'll do it again. But I'm married, that would be wrong! It's like I'm slowly losing my attraction to DH, yet I'm having hot sex with him b/c I keep my eyes closed and think about other men. This isn't good.
Oh, I'm also reminiscing about my bachelorette night. For any of you ladies who have been to Philadelphia to the Cave strip club...I had an experience there that I don't think they normally do. My friend paid for a private lap dance with one of the strippers in the upstairs loft. He was all over me! He actually unzipped my top, pulled my bra down and started kissing my bbs!!!! He even stuck his tongue in my mouth! I'm not lying! I have pics to prove it! My girlfriend was shocked! I'm still wondering why he did that, it's not like I'm a hottie. I'm average. There were tons of pretty girls in there and nobody went through that. I've been thinking and thinking about that night and getting very excited wondering why I was "holding back" that night, and how I want to go back and see if he'll do it again. But I'm married, that would be wrong! It's like I'm slowly losing my attraction to DH, yet I'm having hot sex with him b/c I keep my eyes closed and think about other men. This isn't good.
Jen

Re-read your post and pay attention to the second sentence: "I've been going through some type of phase..." You nailed it exactly. This is a phase. Don't get too worked up about it. The most sexually exciting thing for all of us is taboo. It's exciting because we think of it as 'wrong'. Make your fantasies okay with you and they will lose some of their "scariness" and power. If you are having a threesome fantasy that is exciting you, include your husband in the fantasy. You can have fun (in an emotionally safe way) with this while still keeping it in the realm of fantasy. Buy a dildo if you don't already have one and include it in your sexual play with your husband...he may really enjoy it. There are inumerable ways of having fun with this idea. But include your husband.
Sexual dreams are not about cheating, or being dissatisfied; they are just sexual energy being expressed. It may be that you are desiring to spice things up and your unconscious mind is indulging itself. Dreams are symbolic, not literal; so your concern that you really want to cheat is probably not worth spending a lot of time on. Those men represent something in your subconscious other than what is obvious. Sexual dreams represent creativity, so it may be that those dreams are telling you that you need to do something more creative in your life (in most ancient traditions, sexual energy is the great creative force in the Universe), or that you need express your sexuality more completely...it could be any number of things. Be open to the message, but don't worry about this. This is all normal. All experiences that we have are good as long as we incorporate them into our lives. If we incorporate them we become more complete and more self-accepting. If we repress them and make them wrong then they manifest in all sorts of innapropriate ways (like actually doing a threesome with someone other than your husband), and they cause pain and problems for yourself and all those that you really love. I can't say this enough, don't take this too seriously...use it and just enjoy it as another phase of a wonderful life.
Good luck.
Scott.
I'm also inclined to think that you shouldn't bother going back to that club even if you decided to go through with finding that hot guy. Trying to re-live an experience like that invariably doesn't work. Part of the fun of that night was that it was new and unusual and that it was YOUR night. Things have changed and chances are that it would just feel odd trying to repeat it. And why did he do it on the night? Well, your friends had paid him a lot of money and it was YOUR bachelorette night.
Maybe your sex life with your husband needs a little spicing up too. When was the last time that the two of you went out on the town and then came home to a night of hot steamy lovemaking?
Don't get too worried, I think that it's probably a phase that you are going through. Enjoy the fantasies and try to make some of your own with your husband.