My bf's sullied right hand.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2007
My bf's sullied right hand.
20
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 5:21pm

This has now reached the level of fully cracking me up. My bf almost always masturbates himself to a climax rather than cumming inside me. It's not an issue of birth control, it's not an issue of he needs to do that, it's simply an issue of he loves cumming on me.

What really cracks me up is I have seen him j/o what, at least 100 times. He takes a few minutes each time so that's gotta be several hours in total. Funnier still is that, when he's just sitting there talking to you or asleep or whatever, his right hand is often in the exact same configuration it is when he's pleasuring himself. He's spent so many hours with his dick in it it has become permanently shaped!!!

When he shakes someone's hand I think sometimes I actually giggle. Man has his hand seen a lot of spit, sperm and vaginal juices. He's a super great and super yummy guy, he just really gets off on getting himself off!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2007
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 5:39pm

Are you new to the board? Also does your username mean anything?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2007
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 6:03pm
Fairly new. My user name just means that I'm 5'-2", have no hips (which i really feel ripped off on!!!) and am a size zero.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2007
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 7:45pm
Haha!That is hilarious!
~ Emily ~
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 11:37pm
LMAO...that is so funny....alot of guys are constantly touching themselves...It's good to know he loves himself..LOL
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2001
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 11:55pm

"It's good to know he loves himself."

Isn't that what Woody Allen said? "At least masturbation is sex with someone you love."

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 10:21am

I can only imagine the giggles you get from that. Do you ever tease him about it?

DHs penis bends in a certain direction, and we have joked about it being because of the hand he prefers :D



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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2007
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 12:03pm

Haha!!! Bf's penis bends slightly downward and to the left -- is that from using his right hand? God he's got a frikking big enough one lol.

I think I have teased him about it for sure. It's a good thing, he is comfortable enough around me to do whatever he wants. Last week I was giving him a bj and the phone rang and I really needed to take the call, he was sitting there across from me calmly stroking it and spitting on his hand and waited until I was done and then we took it from there. He's never been the slightest bit embarrassed about pleasuring himself in front of me, which is great! I have never seen another guy like that though. His right hand is literally custom made for masturbating. It actually looks like it feels perfect!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 1:14pm
I don't get the bending to the left thing either. Seems using their right hand would bend it that way if anything! We've been joking about looking for different positions to see if his "bend" makes a difference to how he feels to me (LOL). But, when we are in a "t" shape, he does lay on his right side, and he does stimulate my g-spot during intercourse a lot in that position. It could be helping there as he would be curved upward!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2007
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 2:58pm

It must at that. It's just a very slight leftward bend but still. I wonder how many thousand times he has j/o'd, I really do. I have never seen any guy do it so much.

He's perfectly okay talking about it, he sometimes emails me that he did it this morning, etc. I like thinking about him doing it. I've certainly studied exactly how he does it ... when he gets close to cumming, he does this jerky thing where he stops for a second, then keeps going. And he holds his finger over the end in a very particular way until the very last minute. I just wonder where all that semen goes. His are about the most productive balls I have ever heard of.

For a while I wondered why he prefers that way usually to cumming inside me or in my mouth or using my hands. Then I realized: it doesn't matter, he's a super guy, it's absolutely fine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2007
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 4:34pm

Do you ever do facials? I have been tring to get my SO to do those.

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