Is my fantasy embarrassing him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2005
Is my fantasy embarrassing him?
8
Fri, 01-20-2006 - 4:08pm
A couple of weeks ago DH and I were discussing our fantasies. I told him one of mine was to watch him masterbate. He replied, "Oh, yeah? Maybe we can do that." Well, that was awhile ago, and we have sex almost every night. He hasn't initiated anything yet. I am wondering if what I am asking is too risque? Are a lot of men shy about that? He watches me, but I have never asked him if he likes that either. Some insight please! How would I encourage him to touch himself if he is just shy?
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-20-2006 - 4:26pm

Lots of people believe that masturbation is a private activity. Have you asked him if he feels that way? And ask him if it embarrasses or turns him on to watch you do it?

Encourage him to be honest about his true feelings and then let HIM decide if he wants to do it or not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
Fri, 01-20-2006 - 6:21pm
My boyfriend feels that masterbation is an act of privacy, so he would not do it in front of me just for the heck of it...
even though i asked him numerous times...
However... there have been some 'treats' from him when we have a few drinks... where i would just put his hand on his penis... and he would stroke himself.... i would join in...
so little by little you can bring it out of him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2005
Fri, 01-20-2006 - 7:15pm

Do you touch ever masterbate for him? My DH asked me what my fantasies were so that is why I am a little perplexed.

Thanks for the idea though. I can get him started that way. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Fri, 01-20-2006 - 11:45pm
He asked what your fantasies were, he didn't say he was going to fulfill them! If you want him to, now that he knows what it is, then ASK him if he will. He might, or he might not........
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 01-21-2006 - 11:37am

It doesn't matter what most men or any other man feels about it, it only matters what your Dh feels about it.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2006
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 2:21pm

I kind of went through this with my boyfriend before. He loved watching me masterbate but never seemed to do it infront of me. I think guys are shy about this and they probably won't admit it. This is what I tried the first few times and it seemed to work. Help him out when he is stroking, play with his balls with your tounge or your hands, make out with him while he is doing it, or masturbate at the same time, talking dirty seems to work also. I did those things and now my man has no problem.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2006
Sun, 02-05-2006 - 2:26pm
From a male perspective, I have no problem masturbating in front of my wife. Of course, the first time I did it - I was somewhat uncomfortable. One suggestion to maybe get him to try doing it, is for you to masturbate as well the first time he tries. I think this might get him arroused enough to try!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Sun, 02-05-2006 - 9:51pm

I agree with Domey. The first time can be embarrassing and I bet that it would be much easier if you started the ball rolling and began to masturbate in front of him as part of foreplay one night. Ask him to masturbate as he watches you masturbate. I think that he would feel much less selfconcious if you are doing it too. Alternatively you could cuddle him from behind and kiss his neck and shoulders and rub his thighs and body as he masturbates for you. That way he doesn't feel so "alone" when he's doing it in front of you.

Personally I find being able to finish and ejeculate onto my partner more erotic than into my hand. Perhaps you could get him to kneel in front of you and ejeculate onto your breasts? A favourite ending to our mutual masturbation sessions ends with me kneeling between my partner's thighs and ejeculating onto her fingers and vagina as she masturbates.