My first time coming up..
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| Tue, 08-09-2005 - 7:13pm |
I just wanted to share my thoughts and cencerns and I would be happy to get any response or advice..
I met this guy about 3 weeks ago and then we started dating this weekend. Since then everything has become pretty serious.. I like him so much and I can tell he likes me aswell. He's kind, funny, gentle, caring... everything.
I'm thinking about sex with him already. We have been cuddling and kissing. He hasn't made any moves to have sex yet and I think that's just good that he isn't that pushy. But still I know it will happen sooner or later. I wouldn't mind waiting a few weeks.
But the thing is.. I'm a virgin, I'm 20 and he's 22. He's probably not, I wouldn't think so. I have had one boyfriend before. We never had intercourse but we did almost everything but that. This might sound rough, but for example I have had his two fingers inside me. Then that was ok with one finger, but with two it felt that I was tight and it hurt a little and I had a weird feeling for months after. I'm just thinking of if that might help during my first time. Do you think it will hurt a lot.
With my last boyfriend I didn't feel ready at all.. I guess I wasn't comfortable enough with him. He pushed it too much and that only made me turned off.
Now I feel totally ready, I want to have sex, it's completely different. The only thing is if it's going to hurt. Do you think I should tell him that I'm a virgin..
I can tell this guy is going to be in my life for a long while... and I don't think he shoudl think it was weird at all. I guess I just have to let go of my worries (even though they aren't many) and relax and hope for the best.
Happy for any comments!

Hi Vivabubble and welcome to the board.
First, there's NO hurry! You've had ONE date with this guy, and you have NO idea if he'll be in your life for a long time, or a short time. Do not assume anything about a brand new relationship. It takes months to get to really know each other and know if it's going to last or not last.
Secondly, if you think you're ready to have sex with him, then you need to be able to talk to him, starting with the fact that you're a virgin, and as Tish said, having the birth control and STD discussion. If you can't discuss these things with him, then you don't know him well enough to have sex with him.
How much do you know about your own body, and your sexuality? Just because you had two fingers in your vagina a long time ago, that has NOTHING to do with having intercourse not. Your vagina stretches when something is inserted, and then it gets tight again. It doesn't STAY stretched out forever. Each and every time you have intercourse, you need to have plenty of foreplay to make sure you're relaxed, aroused and well lubricated. Just being willing, or "wanting to" isn't enough.
For more information on your body, and what makes sex work, check out www.the-clitoris.com There is a lot of information there that you need to know about yourself. Don't rush anything. You have a whole lifetime ahead of you to be sexual. Get to know this guy, and make sure he'll be around for a while. I've never heard a woman complain about waiting too long to give up their virginity, but many women say they gave it up too soon, and to the wrong person. If he truly cares about you, and is interested in being with you for a long time, he'll be willing to wait. If he's not willing to wait, then he's not too concerned about you or your feelings.
Good Luck!