My friend wants me to have sex with ....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2004
My friend wants me to have sex with ....
11
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 2:07am
Help!!!! My friend is crazy.... My friend slept with my ex-boyfriend (while we were dating) about 5 years ago (her and I didn't know each other at the time, we became friends after). The other day my friend told me that since I haven't had sex in a while that I could borrow her boyfriend for the night. And she was actually serious!!!! She really wants me to sleep with her boyfriend. She says that since she slept with my boyfriend, it is only fair that I get to sleep with her boyfriend. I think she is crazy. Her boyfriend is totally for her idea about our one night. I don't know what to do. Help...... What would you do, what should I do?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2004
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 7:15am
From what you wrote, you ARE NOT WILLING to go along with this one-night-stand sex. Swinging (mate swapping for sex) gets a little tricky; jealousy, guilt, etc... STD's!!! IMO, TELL your friend(?) that it is NOT WHAT YOU WANT.

I am old fashioned; I don't like sharing (even a on-night-stand sex). Mac

 

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 8:03am
Im with Mac..How do people hold sex between two people in such low regard.I dont mean to push my value system on others ,but sex is something that is supposed to be very special between two people who care for one another, isnt it? I know there is a whole lot of casual sex going on out there , but people who are in relationships, and have sex outside of that relationship are playing with fire. (In many ways)..IMHO
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 8:26am
What exactly do you find confusing about this? You say your friend is crazy, I agree. Or, she's got something more in mind, and this is just her introduction. Either way, you don't want to do it, so what's the problem? You say NO! If your friend doesn't like your answer, too bad. It's YOUR life, your morals and your self-respect, not hers. I'd kind of wonder about a friend like her! She must not have much regard for her boyfriend if she's willing to just share him with someone that SHE thinks needs sex. I'd be insulted by her offer. Does she think you can't get someone on your own, and you need HER to arrange your sex life? Whether or not you have sex, or ever have sex is none of her business! Hopefully, you have too much self-respect to take the "scraps" she's offering you!

It doesn't say much for HER morals if she slept with someone (your ex) who was already in a relationship! I don't think I'd need or want her as my friend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 1:00pm
What do you want to do? Do you want to sleep with him? If so, then do it, if not, then don't. Simple as that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 1:04pm
I agree with you humpdaddy. I think for the OP to even consider it tells a lot. Maybe she is attracted to the guy and having issues in her own relationship, but still. I would be concerned about my friend telling me I could have her boyfriend for a night more than anything. But to each his own, I guess.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 1:32pm
One thing that would really concern me(if I were in your shoes) is the future. Will she think she can sleep with one of your boyfriends again and just make it up to you by letting you sleep with hers? How will this affect the friendship, and do you care if you lose her as a friend? When she slept with your boyfriend, you two weren't friends. You are now, and consider she *may* be testing the friendship to see if you would do to her what she did to you.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 6:01pm
I agree. I think the whole situation is super weird. But for you to post about it and ask for advice, it sounds like you must be interested.

What would I do? I would say gross and hell no. But I would never find myself in that situation because wouldn't be friends with people like that.

How old are you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Wed, 07-07-2004 - 2:32am
Sounds crazy alright. Maybe she's just a bit odd in that she's happy to share her b/f around . I don't think that most grownups share partners around like that.

Maybe she has ulterior motives and wants to either introduce a threesome, test you, test her b/f, or is a voyeur and likes watching.

Who knows? It's weird. But hey!, if you can handle the consequences and you want to sleep with him, go ahead (but use a condom).

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2004
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 6:25pm
lll
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 6:46pm

I would tell the "friend" that if you want sex, you can find your own guy to have sex with.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

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