My guy can
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My guy can
| Mon, 09-18-2006 - 4:22pm |
I've only known my guy for a month but all is well in most areas...except this. After a few unsuccessful attempts at giving him what I thought was a decent bj, he admitted that he was never able to cum that way. He says he gets almost there and then, fffttt, it's gone. I really want to please him here and I've never had any complaints from other guys, in fact they were usually "there" in five minutes, not that it's a race. I take pride in doing this well, no teeth, correct rythm, paying attention to all the areas involved. I know there are men who say that women just don't know what they're doing and that they fumble around, but I do know what to do. I know this has to be a psychological thing, I don't wanna push it too much, but I also want to get over this little hurdle. I adore this man so very much that I care enough to work at this, it can be very exhausting though! He has no problems (other than taking a loong time) in actual sex though.

Just because he doesn't cum through oral sex doesn't mean it's psychological.
"Your guy" is NOT any other guy! Don't compare him with any other guy. As Tish said, they're all different, and this is NOT unusual at all.
Where did you get the idea he's not enjoying it, just because he doesn't finish that way? Just as with women, the "journey is just as important as the destination". This has nothing to do with your "expertise" or experience, this has to do with HIM....because he's told you this is just the way he is. Believe him, a guy isn't going to lie about it.
There's no reason for it to be exhausting. If it's not going to happen, then you don't have to keep it up for hours. When you get tired, then switch to something else. He told you it won't happen, so don't beat a dead horse!
The fact that he takes a long time during intercourse just says that he takes a long time, and most women would be very happy with that. Every man is different, just as every woman is. That doesn't make them any better or worse, just different.
Current guy is the only man I've had who doesn't climax with bj. Mind you, giving head can make me climax (especially when I put it in soft and take it to ejac), so it was a huge adjustment for me, but I am determined that I will make it erupt one of these days and I'm loving the challenge.
Communication is one of the biggest keys to a great sex life so I recommend that you talk to him about it until you are willing enough to accept the fact that HE IS ENJOYING IT regardless of ejac or not. During sex current man will not utter one word when I am down there so talking about it out of bed was the only way to discover that everyhing I do to him orally down there makes him very happy. And he has said that I've brought him close, yes even "very close", so now it's something that I enjoy.
Before him, I enjoyed it because of the power I felt taking limp to ejac but now I enjoy it solely because it's beautiful to have in my mouth and I know he's enjoying my mouth being down there. Also, I have come to enjoy not having to "perform" solely for climax. So relax and learn how to change your perspective of it, because unless he's screaming "stop", then IMO you're doing it just fine!