My Guy's Masturbation -- HELP!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
My Guy's Masturbation -- HELP!!!!
10
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 8:10pm
My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple of months and our sexual experiences are great! He’s happy and I’m happy – always. However, we live separately and are not able to see each other every day. My boyfriend often tells me things like, “I was thinking about you last night and I could not help but touch myself.” He seems to masturbate when he thinks about me on a regular basis. The weird thing is that he is very open with this subject and doesn’t have a problem telling me about it. Is this unusual? Do I have anything to worry about? What does this mean about our relationship? PLEASE HELP!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 9:16pm


first of all i don't think there is anything wrong with what he is doing,and at least he is honest with you and telling you about what he is doing...do u know for sure that he is masterbating...just because he said that he touched himself does not mean that he is masterbating..how is your sex life with him?......i bet that is a hard question for you to answer,.u said it is allways great...but is it......i wouln'd worry..but when ever your in a relationship it is very important for you to have a communication between both of you..i guess i have a question for you...do u ever masterbate or touch your self when you think of him or someone else? that will be hard for u to answer as well...good luck to you.....don
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 9:26pm
I think you can calm down, it's very normal for people to masturbate daily. I don't think it has any bearing on the quality of your relationship. I would only start to worry if he stopped being interested in sex with you. While it's more socially acceptable for men to masturbate, it's very normal for women to also, whether they're in or not in a relationship.

It's good you're asking before you worry too much about it. Enjoy your relationship!

Leah

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 9:56pm
I'd say count yourself lucky, girl...

I mean really, people masturbate. Guys masturbate. In my opinion, the more open we are about it, the better...he's telling you that he's thinking about you, turned on by you, and that he's open sexually with you. All three of them good things!

This is not at all a problem. Would you rather he didn't get turned on by you? Didn't think about you? Didn't masturbate? Or worst of all - lied about or hide all of the above.

:)

`
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 9:58pm
Its absolutely nothing to worry about. If you look at it another way, you could even be flattered that just thinking about you gets him that excited. I'm a guy and when and how much I masturbate has very little to do with how I feel about my girlfriend.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 11:31pm
This is very normal! And since he's thinking of YOU when it happens, he's giving you a nice message....you make him HOT! MOST people, men AND women masturbate, for the same reasons....their partner isn't available, they don't have a partner OR they just want a quick release. It's a healthy way to release pent up sexual energy and he's likely been doing it since he could reach his penis! Don't worry about it UNLESS he's masturbating more than being with you, and depriving you of his energy, then there's a problem!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 1:43pm
My XH was like that. When we were dating, we'd talk on the phone and he'd tell me later that he masturbated cuz he just gets so worked up thinking about me, and that he has to do soemthing....well, cuz I'm not there. Personally, I took it as a compliment. I mean, it wasn't interfering in our sex life, and well, hey, he was thinking about ME, not someone else.

So, I would say it's somewhat normal....it seemed okay on my side. I had to laugh though when we were IMing each other dirty things and he had to take care of business at work. lol. But, I can't complain...his being open about it led us to having phone sex....so we BOTH could be satisified at the same time....even though we were hundreds of miles apart.

So, enjoy it...maybe start the phone sex thing, then at least while you two are apart, you know you're "giving him some".....=) That's how I saw it.

-T

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 1:36am
I think Tigger is exactly right. You have a perfect opportunity to start a long distance phone sex thing with your bf. I have gotten off talking with my bf on the phone. Sometimes when he's going away, I will even put a panty or a bra in his suitcase to give him the idea.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 10:56am
This is a good thing. All men masturbate, the one's who say they don't, lie. He's thinking about you when he does it, which is good. He also feels open enough with you to talk about it. Maybe he's trying to initiate phone sex.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 2:22pm


I am a guy amd I agree that your guy's masturbation is normal. Here's an idea -

Tell him next time when he is feeling that way have him call you and tell him you will come over. If that's not possible , maybe you can talk him through it. This way you can be involved in it as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-05-2003 - 5:22pm
I agree with the others that it is normal for him to masturbate, BUT... if it makes you uncomfortable when he talks about it, I think you should tell him that. Maybe you can figure out why it bothers you and turn it into something positive for your relationship (i.e., phone sex), or maybe you would just feel better if he didn't tell you about it.
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