My hubby says he doesn't Jerk Off

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2004
My hubby says he doesn't Jerk Off
4
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 9:09am

Hubby and I have a pretty tame sex life and never really discussed masturbation. I was having a sex conservation with a guy at work and it came down to him saying that "99% of men jerk off and the other 1% do and lie about it because they are embarrassed". What are everybodys thoughts on this? Are there any men who don't JO? My gf says MOST do and many will not admit it.

Does anybody else have a SO who clains not to JO ever??

I asked my DH if he ever JO's either in the past or now and he got all embarrassed and said he diddn't. I must admit, it turns me on to think that he does and I would like to watch him or "catch him" one day. HE was raised in a convervative house so this may explain his stance on masturbation.

PS. I never masturbated in the begining of our relationship, but have become more adventurous and have started to I told him I do sometimes but he never saw me . I think it turns him on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 10:20am

Hi Mandy,

I think that you hit it on the head (no pun intended), there is a lot of shame laid on kids in some very conservative households concerning masturbation. It's odd, but we are products of our surroundings and discussion of masturbation with those raised in a conservative household brings them right back to their childhoods. It is my guess that that is what your husband is dealing with. SHame is a very powerful thing, even if on a conscious level we are able to see the foolishness of it, the unconcscious is very powerful.

Chances are that you hubby masturbates occasionally. However, the only thing absolute in life is that there are no absolutes. THe statistics that your friend mentioned (99% of men masturbate and 1% lie) are an old joke and not really very scientific. But, they are probably not too far off. BUt as as I said, the only absolutes are that there are none...it is possible that your husband doesn't masturbate, but not very likely.

Peace,
Scott.

PS - Telling him that you masturbate was a good move, it will make him feel safer in opening up and opening up is how we all begin to heal from the damaging effects of shame (plus, that does turn men on, lol).

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 11:52am
Whether your husband does or not, he's the only one who knows the truth.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 1:07pm

I think that the vast majority of men do JO. I'm sure that there are a few that don't but they would definitely be in the minority. I would guess that your husband is just embarrassed to admit that he does - either because of his upbringing making him feel ashamed of it. Maybe he doesn't masturbate very often? Maybe he uses a strange technique? Who knows? :-)

Keep talking to him, maybe with some time and encouragement he'll eventually feel comfortable enough to demostrate it for you. You should masturbate in front of him one night! I don't think that there is a guy on the planet that isn't incredibly turned-on by their partner masturbating.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 2:44pm
Mine does, I've seen him do it when he is in the shower. It doesn't bother me at all. I do too, ocassionally when I'm alone. I don't feel comfortable letting him see me do it, yet.