My husband can't orgasm

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2007
My husband can't orgasm
3
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 3:33pm

I need help from somebody.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2006
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 6:38pm

"I'm probably the first woman ever to complain that her husband takes way too long in bed"


Nope, I do too.

Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 9:43pm

Welcome to the board bingrahm.

Do you know about your DHs masturbation habits? If he spends a lot of time masturbating, then it's possible that he would have a more difficult time ejaculating during intercourse. A lot of guys train themselves through masturbation, where they can get a tighter grip with their hands.

If it's possible that he is masturbating frequently, then he can retrain himself by stopping for a while.

It does sound like there is a problem -- where you feel the two of you are not intimate enough in your relationship. Try talking with him to see what's up, but using "I" language and not "you" language. You'll find that he's much more likely to open up then.

5 Secrets of Getting a Man to Open Up
http://love.ivillage.com/lnsproblems/lnscommunicate/0,,saver_79jcxw99,00.html

3 Communication Pitfalls to Avoid
http://love.ivillage.com/lnsproblems/lnscommunicate/0,,7mcw,00.html

There are medical conditions that he could be experiencing as well. Suggesting he get a check up at his doctor, and making sure they check his testosterone levels would be a good idea as well.

Good luck and let us know how things go.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2007
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 12:08pm

Have you guys ever talked about whether he regularly orgasms from masturbation? My current bf is the first guy who has ever openly discussed it with me and I've learned a lot about guys in this respect. First, guys masturbate a lot more than we know or they'll admit to you. Second, guys usually do it while looking at or thinking about their biggest fantasy...which they sometimes keep from their wives/girlfriends. I think you might be able to figure this out by having a candid discussion about what brings him to orgasm.

I was able to open my bf up about it by finally telling him that one of my biggest turn-ons is watching a guy masturbate all the way to orgasm. I offered to let him try anything, no matter how strange, just once in exchange for my fantasy. I gave him one week to come up with it. Nearly everyday, I would ask him if he'd come up with something really dirty for me to do. I think that turned him on more that anything, but the point is that I made it easy for him to tell me what I could do to really turn him on without him worrying about me freaking out or judging him.

He finally told me that he just wanted me to talk dirty to him while we had sex. I thought he was still holding back until we talked about it. He used porn as an example. He said most guys get really horny when they watch porn because the women look and act so slutty during sex. For whatever reason, that is what guys like. He said that every once in awhile, he'd like me to pretend to be his pornstar slut.

I did a little "research" on the internet, picked up some dirty phrases, and now we have twice the sex we used to have. Even better, my bf isn't hiding his fantasies and masturbating to them privately. He shares it with me and we act them out...and vice versa. It takes a an open mind and willingness to experiment, but its totally worth it!