My husband prefers masturbation !
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My husband prefers masturbation !
| Wed, 09-06-2006 - 6:43am |
The last three years I suffer a lot as I discovered that my husband masturbates every day! We hardly have sex once a week and I have very bad feelings for him. I feel that he has completely destroy my female being, I want to kill him when I know that behind the closed door he is masturbating.
I tried many ways to approach him, being more sexual, discussed it, fighting, visit therapist ... but still nothing changed.
I think that I have turned to be psychotic with this situation, I have a lot of health symptoms and after 3 years I turn to be really depressed with this situation.
On the other hand he is a very tender man, loves me deeply but he told me that it is an addiction that he cant resist.
Please help!

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Are there other problems in the relationship that he is choosing masturbation over sex with you?
I agree with Tish! If he's addicted to it, then it's no different than an addiction to drugs or alcohol. If he wants to end his addiction, then he needs to get help for it. If he would rather enjoy his addiction than make you happy, then he loves his addiction more than he loves you!
If HIS addiction is causing you to be depressed, (which can cause your medical problems) and he's not willing to try to change, then maybe it's time to get out of the marriage. You can't fix him or change him, he has to do that for himself, and it sounds like he's not willing to do that. You are in a lose-lose situation, and the only way to change what's happening to you is to get out of that situation.
She said this has been going on for 3 years, she has tried being more sexual with him, she's discussed it with him, even done therapy and nothing has changed with him.
I agree. It just doesn't sound like all that acute a problem. Again, not that most guys are like this, but my last bf preferred to pull out and masturbate himself to climax 90% of the time. Heck, many times he would do that and just stick it back in the orifice it had come out of 30 seconds before lol. Not because that was the only way he could do it, or that he was hung up on it: it was just what he felt like doing. There was nothing bad about it that I can think of. It didn't bother me a bit, I really didn't much think about it.
Back to your case, I think if you just align him being with you to him masturbating he might think it was really sexy.
Important to not overthink these things.
Yes, we are only hearing one side of the story, that's usually how message boards work.
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