my insecurities (male)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
my insecurities (male)
18
Tue, 12-21-2004 - 2:00pm

Ladies, I need your honest help/opinion. I am a 21 year old virgin. I am a good looking guy (been told), good sense of humor and get excellent grades in college. However, whenever I am on the verge of hooking up with a girl, my insecurities set in. I always think of the worst: what if I finish in two seconds? what if she thinks my penis is small?

My penis, when erect, is 5.5" in length, and about 4.7" around. I know this isn't the smallest in the world, but its definitely not big. Also, I don't trust my ruler, because it looks smaller to me!(may be weird for measuiring, but every guy does it)
Another thing, I don't know where exactly the clitoris is! could be embarassing...

How do I get over this? Do I have good reason to be worried?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 10:57pm
I actually do feel better...I am just an insecure person for some reason, have no idea why. I realize I shouldn't be...oh, well. Starting now, I only think positive!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 11:18pm

Welcome aboard malemember!

My opinion, there is no should or shouldn't be when it comes to being insecure. We all go through it, just at different levels, thats all. Remember, there's plenty of women AND plenty of posts here to prove it that many of those women are at least just as insecure also.

As mentioned so often, be sure to hook up ONLY with a true lady and a true lady that you TRUST. Don't just hook up for the of it and make sure its someone you trust and share those common feelings with; being with someone that special...whew...how could anyone feel insecure with that? ;)

Keep posting, appreciate your faith in us. In the meantime, here's a little study for ya when it comes to more female anatomy and even how to be a very pleasing man in the process:

http://the-clitoris.com/

Also, do NOT worry about your size, don't waste any more of your time. As they say, its the GOOD chap with the lady on his lap, right? LOL!

:)

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2004
Sun, 12-26-2004 - 9:05pm

‘mm123’,

It honestly depends on what type of girl you decide to make love to.

When I first read your post, I melted. How sweet you are! It's a big turn on. I was wishing that I knew you.

I was going to say that it doesn't matter. But, to some girls, it does. To others, it doesn't.

What type of girl/relationship are you looking for? I don't want to place stereotypes or anything, but I have come to the conclusion that it's the girls who all the guys desire: You know, the really really 'hot chicks' or what have you. Well it turns out that these ‘hot chicks’ are the girls who are most interested or at least first interested in their guy's ability to please them. And their guy’s looks. (Sorry if I am judgmental)

That's kind of frustrating. (Speaking from an average-looking girl's perspective) It's a big paradox. Almost like as a person you can either be blessed with one thing or the other.

But for me, my honest opinion is that I would think you are perfect. Seriously.

I'm not a virgin; I can't take that back, even though sometimes I wish it. It's cool that you are. So don’t worry about that one. Find someone who admires your courage.

Sex and love-play is all about practice. Even better if you can practice it with the same person forever. Love! *Sigh* LOL If you can't be open and honest with them "I don't know where the clitoris is." Then why be with her? (I didn't know where mine was either! I had to find it by myself.) I would gladly give a guy instructions, I actually prefer that he would ask me. Just like I would ask him. Instead of me not knowing. I want communication to be open.

Bottom Line- So it's like this: If you want to feel comfortable with who you are what you have been given... That's something that you need to do for yourself... BUT it will certainly help bunches if you choose to stay in company that uplifts you and what you have... Stay away from company that praises what you don't have/scorns what you do. Get it? If you can't beat em, join em. =) (((Hugs)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Sun, 12-26-2004 - 11:50pm

I think that we're all pretty insecure about one thing or another at one time or another. I used to be a lot like you and worried about penis size and cumming too quickly etc, etc.

Tell you what though; learn how to treat a woman well, learn how to give good oral sex and how to make a woman feel good, brush your teeth and present yourself well, and when you look back at things in a few years time you'll be surprised at how good your batting average will have been.

;-) Have fun.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2004
Mon, 12-27-2004 - 5:02pm

para,

Thank you for that website address! It has a lot of good info on it. =)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
Tue, 12-28-2004 - 11:49am
That website is great and all, but it doesn't really show where the clitoris is. I want to be able to pleasure the girl while going down on her, but I don't want to ask in the heat of the moment "where's your clit?"
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Tue, 12-28-2004 - 12:32pm

MM, you're carrying this to the extreme now. Do you really think that all men but you are born knowing where everything is, and full of confidence? NO, they're not. Every man in the world had his first time, and had no idea what to do or where to do it.

Do you really think that you will meet a willing partner, and within 5 minutes she will have dropped her panties, and you'll be giving her oral sex? Not unless she's a professional, you won't!

LONG before you get to that step in the process, you will touch, and you will FEEL and you will ASK her if that's the spot. I can't believe that you can't figure out where the clitoris is from that website. The pictures there couldn't be more explicit! If you can't SEE it, you'll be able to feel it. If you can't FEEL it, then you'll have to ask which way to go. There's not a woman in the world that wouldn't be willing to tell you where it is, or SHOW you where it is. But, FIRST, find a partner, and then proceed from there. It is in the middle of the vulva, at the top, above the vagina and the urethra. That's the ONLY place it will be.

You can analyze this to death, or you can just take the plunge and DO it.....that's what most men do. Even those with insecurities.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 12-28-2004 - 1:05pm

You must not have been looking at the right page on the site.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

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