My Life is Like a Levitra Commercial
Find a Conversation
My Life is Like a Levitra Commercial
| Sun, 05-30-2004 - 12:12pm |
It's all about quality, and we have plently of quality. My man just can't wipe that smile off his face. Neither can I. Life is like the best romance novel. Like it's supposed to be. Two beautiful people in a committed monogamous relationship who just can't keep their hands off each other. And we can't contain our joy. We have to let everyone know how delighted we are.

Pages
We "communicate" all the time in terms of talking (and arguing) but nothing seems to break the logjam for good. It is so frustrating to NEVER settle anything, only for the moment, and then have to refight the battle anew later. She says she's just lost the capacity to trust but I question whether she ever really did and whether she really wants things to get better. Indeed, this dynamic may be what she is comfortable with.
And to be fair, I am certainly not Mr. Perfect and in the past I have hurt her, not been as understanding, and honest, and trusting & loving as I should have been. We've been together since 1991 and a lot of history has gone down. We are both weary.
That said, however, I'm still "in love" with her as well as love her, and I am passionately so. She has lost her passion for me. We haven't had sex in almost a month, before that it was 1X a week, down from 2X, etc., been dwindling down and a problem for the past 2 years.
I appreciate what you and everyone else has been saying. I guess I am looking for some way to have her fall in love with me again and I am pretty much in despair that this is not possible.
I'm uncomfortable with leaving conflicts unsettled and my DH is a conflict avoider. He doesn't like the whole process of arguing, negotiating and hashing out a problem. So, our backgrounds are very different as well.
We've dealt with many frustrating periods in our marriage but the good news is that MOST of us DO mellow with age and time! We ALL bring our own emotional baggage with us into a relationship, so what you're experiencing is nothing new.
One thing that helped us immensely is marriage counseling. When the same problems kept rearing their ugly heads over and over, and we never seemed to find solutions, we got a mediator. Just realizing that my DH was willing to see a counselor, which he had previously thought was stupid, was the best indicator of his sincerity and commitment to our marriage.
Hang in there, talk about how all this makes you feel and encourage her to do the same. It may not be easy to get past this rough patch, but with some patience and forgiveness, if it's truly meant to be, you will.
Just don't hesitate to see a professional if this continues because resentment and anger are real love and trust killers. And if she's the one with the trust issues, it's even more important to get help together. Good luck!
Pages