In my opinion .. threesomes ..
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In my opinion .. threesomes ..
| Mon, 04-25-2005 - 8:17pm |
you know how all men have that one fantasy .. a threesome with another girl. well my boyfriend wants to have a threesome with me and another girl. he said it could be any girl i choose .. but the thing is .. im a veeeery jealous person and even the thought of him kissing or touching another girl pushes me right over the edge. so bottom line he wants to have a threesome no matter what ... but in my opinion thats not something you do in a relationship .. right ?? i wouldnt mind hooking up with a girl by myself but i dont want to see the guy i love doing sexually things with another girl .. even if it doesnt mean anything. i just dont want him to break up with me over this .. what should i do/say ??!!!!! help me please !

Between this post and the anal sex post of yours, I would seriously reconsider your relationship with this guy.
Bottom line is that you don't want a threesome and you know that you would be very upset if you did have it. So it's simple, you have to tell him that you are not interested in it.
If he says that he will break up with you if you say 'No' then I'd probably let him break up with you. It's simply not worth having a b/f that behaves like this. If he loved you and really cared for you he wouldn't threaten you with a break-up. Sure, it's a fantasy that a lot of guys have, but not many of them actually do it and most of them wouldn't dream of forcing the girl that they love to do it. You have to re-think this relationship. Do you really want to be with a guy that is so selfish that he is forcing you to do things that you don't want to do?
What do you do or say? You say NO!
IF this is a legitimate post, and that's a big IF, I can't believe that you are more concerned about his feelings than how this could affect YOU in the long run! Keep your self respect and stop worrying about how disappointed he'll be! IF you have to jump through sexual hoops to keep him in your life, then he's the wrong guy.
And for the record, not ALL men have this fantasy. My DH sure doesn't. He would never want me with another man or woman in a threesome with him, particularly if I was deadset against it!
Edited 4/26/2005 12:46 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
hmmmmm if i were you just tell your not comfortable with it. if he is fine with that thats great. if hes demanding you to start having threesomes dump him first. no guy is worth it.
i'm in the opposite problem myself, me and my long-term boyfr have spoken about having a threesome. it's something we both want to try but we having some problame picking a person. how do you go about asking someone to join in a threesome? Is it appropriate if i insit on having a certain person?
confusing!!!!
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Anyhow, having been in a threesome situaiton I see many red flags here. To begin with I feel this type of situation is best for couples who have been together a few years and it should not be something that anyone jumps into. The reason being you need to learn about each other and make it through some difficult times. Anotherwords, developing some history and coping skills as a couple. Another red flag that I see, is communication. From your posting I do not see that the two of you communicate and it sounds as though you are being pushed into this. To me this indicates that there is no communication and the potential for diaster. The thrid red flag I see here is your statement, "... I am a very jealous person....", jealousy and swinging just do not mix. Final red flag I see is indications that the two of you have allot of work to do if you it is something that the both of you want to do and from your posting you seem quite certain that you don't.
The obvious solution here is to discuss it with him. Probably the best way is in a non-confrontation and caring way while remaining firm in your decision. Let him know that this is something you are not interested in doing and no matter how much he pushes you will not 'cave in' on it. It might mean you loose him over it but is it worth doing something you don't want to do? Not to mention a threesome situation is a double edge sword, it can either destroy a relationship or enhance it. It is my belief if you did it, you would destroy the relationship that you have with him and you would probably feel bad about yourself. To me, feeling bad about myself is not worth it for anyone.