MY PAST IS AFFECTING MY SEX LIFE HELP!!!
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MY PAST IS AFFECTING MY SEX LIFE HELP!!!
| Tue, 01-04-2005 - 10:16pm |
HELLO THERE I NEED SOME ADVICE ON MY SEX LIFE...FORST OFF LET ME SAY THIS I WAS RAPED AT AGE 13 BY A NEIGHBOR GOT PREGNANT HAD AN ABORTION...MY LIFE SUCKED AFTER THAT..I BECAME PROMISCOUS..I FELT VERY BAD ABOUT MYSELF..SO NOW THAT MANY YEARS HAVE PAST BY I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR ALMOST 5 YEARS I HAVE BEEN WITH MY HUSBAND FOR A TOTAL OF 9 YEARS WE HAVE 4 KIDS TOGETHER...BUT MY PROBLEM IS THIS I HAD MY LAST CHILD ABOUT 9 MONTHS AGO AND MY SEX DRIVE(WHAT SEX DRIVE)? I HAVE NO SEX DRIVE SOMETIMES WHEN ME AND MY HUSBAND HAVE SEX IT DISGUSTS ME OUT THEN SOMETIMES WE HAVE SEX AND I FEEL LIKE I AM IN HEAVEN ....MY 9 MONTH OLD SLEEPS IN THE BED WITH US AND I STILL BREAST FEED SO SOMETIMES IF WE ARE DOING THE DEW I HAVE TO FEED HIM AND WE KEEP HAVING SEX ANOTHER THING I HAVE 56DDD BREASTS AND THEY ARE VERY SENSTIVE(YES THEY ARE REAL!!) AND I DON;T WANT MY HUSBAD TO TOUCH THEM IT FREAKS ME OUT EWWWWWW HELP ME WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE OUR SEX LIFE MORE EXCITING...O FEEL MY SEX LIFE FROM THE PAST IS HURTING ME IN THE WAY OF WHEN I GOT RAPED AND USED AND I WAS ALSO MOLESTED AS A CHILD BEFORE I WAS RAPED

LISTEN TO TISH! When you're done, then check out my two cents too. ;)
Now listen, I really don't know about the other women in this world, but I'm going to guess first off that you ENTIRELY separate your baby time from your hubby time. Get me? Do NOT intermix your time as a mother and your time as a wife in bed. See if you can talk to him and get him to understand that. As always, my posts are just my opinion...for free. Its an idea to think about, so think about how much that would help you and remember that many women successfully rise from this "eewwww" situation you have just because of this method.
It almost sounds like your past was not something you dealt with via counseling or similar. I too suggest that you do get some counseling/therapy for this. Don't ever think its too late. The issue is still affecting you today. Just so you know, there actually are a few, maybe even many of us on this board who have been abused in the past too, yes, including both CLs here. Many of us have and others have not moved on from it. I, like Tish, obviously believe that you DO have a chance to move on with your partner now without the past being of an interference, but its up to you or you two to get you the help you'll need.
Hope things get better...keep us posted.
C h a r a c t e r
above all else
Mr. Para
C H A R A C T E R
Dear supermom,
(love your internet name by the way:0)...Try not to be so judgmental of yourself. Have a little compassion for yourself and it will make all of this easier.
You have a lot of baggage to deal with and you are doing REMARKABLY well for someone with your past. If you have not done so, get some counseling and find a way to release your past. It has been my experience that reaching out and helping others in your situation wil be of great benefit to you. You actually may be able to look at your past as a gift and completely transcend this.
Good luck and much love to you and your family.
Scott.