naked in front boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
naked in front boyfriend
10
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 5:34am

Recently my boyfriend told me that he want to look me naked in front him.I'm not ready yet to show myself to him and told him to wait. But he insist to look me undressed. Later on after a long arguement finally we came to a solution. The solution is I will let him see myself wearing bra and underwear.

When I open my shirt and pants, he look at me with my bra and panties.Later on he get aroused and open all his dress and masturbate in front me and asked me to open my bra and panties. I have told him that we came to a solution that I will not be naked in front of him but he don't care. Then he opened my bra and panties himself without my permission and look at me naked and continue to masturbate in front me.

I don't understand why he is so interested to look me naked. I don't want to lost our relationship and on the same time I do not how to avoid this in future. If I am ready to show myself then I don't mind about this. Please help me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 5:52am

What he's doing is not OK. But before we give you any advice, can I ask a few questions?

How old are you and your boyfriend? How long have you been dating? Are the two of you having any type of sexual contact? It also appears that English is your second language...are there any cultural issues regarding sex and relationships that we should be aware of?

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 9:55am

Your body is YOUR body.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 9:57am

He cannot take your clothes off unless you allow him to do that. If he started doing it, and you did not want that to happen, you should have left right away.

YOU thought you had a compromise, but he did what he wanted to, and he could not do that unless you allowed him to.

Maybe this is not the right boyfriend for you, if he does not respect your wishes. If he does not respect your wishes, then it is NOT a very good relationship. Maybe it should end. Then you can find a boyfriend that will respect you, and respect your wishes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 12:11pm

That's just not right. Later on in your relationship maybe you will perhaps show off a little and do something like this. I have had a couple of gfs who hammed it up a little (remember Gloria in The Sopranos? ... kinda like that, nothing too extreme) and quite absently mindedly I would pull out my penis and masturbate a bit before she comes over and grabs it. But there has to be laughter, fun and tons of good vibes to it all around.

Things like this can't be demanded, they must be freely given if at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 12:53pm
Well, if you said you're not ready, then you're not ready. He didn't respect that and did it anyway. It's up to you to tell him no and stick to it. Sounds like you didn't try to stop him. So maybe part of you wanted to (?) You could have stopped the whole thing and ran out. I would think about what happened and how you truly feel inside and go from there. And - he wants to see you naked because he wants to have sex with you and get into it with you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
Thu, 01-06-2005 - 4:52am
He saw myself naked and masturbate in front me. We did not have any sexual contact. I'm just curious, is this matter considered as sexual abuse or rape?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 01-06-2005 - 9:11am

It was not rape, rape is forced penetration of any bodily orifice (vaginally, anally, or orally) or forced oral sex.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Thu, 01-06-2005 - 12:27pm
If you were this disturbed and uncomfortable with the situation and he wasn't forcing you to be there by constraints, why didn't you just walk away? What would he have done if you had just walked away? Would be have grabbed you? I don't understand. Are you just afraid to say no?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Thu, 01-06-2005 - 3:32pm
sitra,a good relationship is about respect,you are not ready,then he needs to respect that,let's put it this way,thats lot love,if you dont right then you need to stand up and say you are not ready,or find someone that will respect you
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2004
Thu, 01-06-2005 - 7:21pm

sitra,

wether you have cultural taboos or not, the total behaviour of him is unacceptable and disgusting. I would say DUMP HIM.

Cheers,
Kirk.