naked pictures

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
naked pictures
18
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 6:25pm
If you read my post about my boyfriend masturbating to porn, then you probably read when someone suggested I give him a picture of ME to masturbate to. I think its a good idea, but what does everyone else think? Is it too risky? I don't think we will ever break up, but if we do, I might feel weird with him having naked pictures of me. I can't really decide what to do, seeing as I can't ever see us breaking up. I think I should go for it, but what does everyone else think?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 7:18pm

Regardless of whether or not you ever break up, base your decision on whether he's a person you can trust.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 7:31pm
I suggested the nude pictures for your BF. Make an agreement that any pictures that you give him are still YOUR property and you should get them back, along with everything else, if you break up!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 8:25pm

It's always a bit of a gamble Nicole. Of course what part of a relationship is not?

If I were a woman and in your contemplating what you are, I would imagine the worse case scenario, like breaking up and having the pictures shown to his friends. Or (shudder) his parents finding the pictures when he moves. How would you react? If you would be a little embarassed, but for the most part okay, then go for it. If you couldn't stand the thought of strangers seeing you naked, then I would back off and get him a subscription to Penthouse (just kidding).

Peace,
Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 8:56pm

The decision is really up to you. You have to factor in the worst case scenario. I know that you don't think that you will break up, but funnier things have happened to people that were more certain about their relationship than you are. A breakup could happen and if it does, would you feel comfortable with him still having the pictures?

Another thing to consider is while I'm sure that he would be thrilled to have some explicit pictures of you to masturbate with, he's probably still going to look at pictures of other women. Maybe he won't do it as much but I'm sure there will be times that he does still watch his movies and stuff. Pictures of you aren't going to stop him looking at porn.

I'm sure that he will be thrilled, but at the end of the day do you feel that you can trust him with them and does that trust extend to a possible breakup.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2005
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 9:26pm
Life's a gamble but I vote give him the Pic!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 9:54pm

In the world of the internet, I wouldn't be comfortable doing it.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 12:23am

As most people told you in your other post, this is not about YOU, and you're trying to make it about you. You need to accept the fact that he masturbates, as most men do, and that it has nothing to do with whether or not you satisfy him!

This guy is already embarassed and ashamed that he does it....and is probably lying to you about the frequency. He is also embarassed and ashamed of looking at porn while he does it. Do you honestly think he wants to masturbate to a picture of you, as though YOU were porn? He says he thinks porn is gross, but you want to present yourself as a substitute for the porn that grosses him out?

I'd say let it go, and get over the insecurity that you have about it. He's going to masturbate whether you like it or not, and trying to insinuate yourself into that masturbation is NOT going to make him happy. Don't even try to compete with porn....learn to accept it as something he does.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 12:56am

Your BF has said that he feels guilty and disgusted when he uses porn. This isn't something he feels good about. So, I disagree with the others that he will still use porn anyway even if you provide him with nude shots of yourself. My DH has never used porn so it's certainly not a given for every man. It's a choice.

Pictures of you would be an alternative to porn that he wouldn't have to feel badly about afterwards. Of course, he's going to be tempted to use it when he has no other alternative and it's always right at his fingertips. And it sounds to me, like he's asking for an alternative!

Edited




Edited 11/9/2005 1:16 am ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 1:44am

>>He is also embarassed and ashamed of looking at porn while he does it.<<

Is he though? I know that it was said that he feels embarrassed and ashamed about being "drawn back" to the porn, but I'm inclined to think that he's probably quite OK with the porn itself and is fine with using it to masturbate. He embarrassed and ashamed having to admit it to his g/f.

Small, subtle point but I thought I'd mention it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 2:12am
I completely agree with you. He sees HER reaction to all of it.....so he's sure not going to admit to the probable frequency of it, or the fact that he enjoys it. That's not to say that he doesn't have some "shame" about it though. If he didn't, he'd be more forthright about it.

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