naked pictures

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
naked pictures
18
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 6:25pm
If you read my post about my boyfriend masturbating to porn, then you probably read when someone suggested I give him a picture of ME to masturbate to. I think its a good idea, but what does everyone else think? Is it too risky? I don't think we will ever break up, but if we do, I might feel weird with him having naked pictures of me. I can't really decide what to do, seeing as I can't ever see us breaking up. I think I should go for it, but what does everyone else think?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 7:03am

I need to chime in and agree with the two previous messages - we men are not nearly as stupid as women seem to think we are and we know when a small lie will be more beneficiial than outright truth. :)

I suspect that a huge percentage of men (like maybe 99.98% ?) have masturbated to the likes of Playboy or Penthouse magazines and do not feel the least bit disgusted or ashamed at having done so. However, when confronted by wives/girlfriends, we know the drill:

"No honey, I would never buy this magazine; a buddy at work had it in his car and insisted I take it!"

"Pictures? I like this mag for the great sports-related articles!"

"Masturbate to these photos? How desparate do you think I am?"

And, while we are on the subject of white lies, how about:

"Of course I enjoy going shopping for clothes with you!"

"I think your mother is wonderful and I really enjoy her visits."

"No, those slacks fit you perfectly; they don't make your butt look too big at all..."

Avatar for elainetwirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 9:51am
Let's face it, whether women like it or not, men masturbate and they do so looking at pictures. Even if you give your boyfriend all the nude pictures of you in the world, my experience of men teaches me that he will go out looking for more pictures of other women. So, as various people have said it comes down to what you want to do, remembering that pictures you think are private could be skittering around the Internet one of these days. Having said that I have been photographed in various stages of undress by various men, and only one has broken the trust. So, sweetie, its up to you. Elaine
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 10:02am
I'm curious to know how the subject of him using porn came up.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 10:07am

Yep, that's what I think too, and I'm a female. The problem with "masturbation" or to be more precise "masturbation with 'inspiration'", is that it seems like there are SO MANY women who are intimidated by the "inspiration".....as much as the "masturbation". How can so many women be so insecure?

The majority of men know the difference between "porn" and "partner" and don't come close to making comparisons. I think that most men would be disgusted by putting their partner in the same category as the the porn stars. They're two different things, and serve two different purposes.

I mentioned earlier that it's a "given" than men need/want "inspiration" for their masturbation, whether it's the fairly innocuous "Playboy" or the more "hard core" stuff, including internet porn. Check out a sperm donor bank, or even a fertility doctor's office. They provide "inspiration" to assure a good donation.

I think that part of the difference these days is the fact that women are more aware of internet porn than they ever were aware of porn before the internet brought it into everyone's bedrooms. I was a young married woman when Playboy first came out. I bought my husband a subscription! And yes, there were VERY interesting articles in it, lol He looked at the pictures, I read the articles! Never once did I give a thought to wondering if he preferred "them" to me! "They" were something completely different and separate from "me"!

I think in the case of the OP and many young women it's just simple insecurity, and lack of understanding of the male psyche. The main complaint is always "I feel I can't satisfy him if he needs this "stuff"...therefore he MUST stop or I will be devastated". Then comes the lies....."I know it's disgusting, I think it's disgusting, and I'm trying hard to stop"! NOT! They'll just do a better job of hiding it!

I wonder what made the majority of young women so insecure about themselves?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 10:09am

Beat me to it, lol, I was gonna ask that too! :)

(Psst...isn't your siggy missing a parrot on the shoulder?)

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 11:17am

Do you mean my real parrot or my tattoo of my parrot (that's on my chest though, not my shoulder)?


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 3:52pm

>>I wonder what made the majority of young women so insecure about themselves?<<

Well, I think that the continual message in the media that "you're ugly and there is something wrong with you, you must look like the girls in the magazines and the porn to get and keep your man" would be a top reason. Back that up with celebrities looking beautiful, and the zillion and one different messages in advertising that use sex in it's various R rating versions to sell consumer goods and you've got total immersion in that message. Heck, I'm sure toothpaste manufactuers would use hardcore sex in their ads if it sold more toothpaste and they were allowed to do it.

Top it off with the fact that men go along with all this because they are suckers for a good looking woman. Sure, personality is important but don't get in the way honey, I want to oogle that good looking big breasted blonde over there! :-)

And women are hit harder and harder with this message at a younger and younger age. Most of these girls aren't even close to being mentally mature enough to sort the wheat from the chaff in these media messages. They really believe what they see and hear. They simply aren't old enough to make up their own minds.

All that has GOT to make a person insecure.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 4:37pm

You got that right, Westie! Our society promotes one idea of supposed female "perfection" as the norm, a 12 yr. old body with enormous hard breasts. Which of course doesn't exist in nature, so how can anyone ever measure up? Men included.

So, when a man is looking at a airbrushed and surgically enhanced porn star, it's not unusual that his partner might feel a little compared. After all, she's normal and average with flaws. That's a normal emotional reaction. So why label that as insecure?

Studies have shown that regular porn users do tend to become more critical of their partner's normal/average bodies with time. They are also more likely to suggest plastic surgery to their partners. Just makes sense. If you train yourself to respond to certain things, like "perfection", then you could be making it more difficult to respond to your partner.

A perfectly beautiful and otherwise secure woman can be hit hard by the realization that her guy is still looking at porn, if she's under the impression that she should be enough for him.

Edited to add....Women in Playboy and in porn, in general, 25-50 yrs. ago were still REAL women. Look at Marilyn Monroe for instance. She looked downright soft and out of shape in her pictures. These women weren't airbrushed or digitally enhanced and most weren't surgically enhanced. Just take a look at any Playboy from 30 yrs. ago...there is a completely different focus.

And most women could envision themselves posing like that because THOSE women were attainable and portrayed as they were. Now, we're seeing images of women that don't even look real. Fantasy has become the norm. Their bodies are completely made over in the editing process to remove ALL physical defects. That makes a huge difference in one's perception AND expectations, particularly to young, impressionable boys and girls. I don't think you can compare today's porn and sexual images to the past. No, today's technology and access to porn makes that impossible.




Edited 11/10/2005 7:02 pm ET by katmandoo2001

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