need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2007
need advice
2
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 7:21am

My husband and I had a great sex life and then sometime last year it fizzled. In April we started to regain momentum but I'm afraid that I'm not arousing him enough. There are times when I try and come on to him and he deflects me by saying he's "TOO TIRED." I know he works hard(road construction worker) and puts in very long days. Some days he works 14 hrs and some days only 8hrs. He does work up to six days a week but usually only works M-F. He doesn't see it as rejection when he turns me down and sometimes he does get annoyed if I feel bad.

He always tells me how much he loves me, how beautiful and sexy I am, how happy he is w/me in his life. I can't help that I sometimes feel bad when he says no. He doesn't usually say no on the weekends (fri-sun) but on occasion he has been to tired on fri nights. My husband is a very generous lover and always makes sure to satisfy me when we do make love. He doesn't just worry about himself, but I know that there is no chance for romance during the work week unless he initiates it, which he does on occasion. Should I be worried, or is this normal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 7:27am
Sounds to me like he's just tired during the work week. Especially with Summer here, outside work can be very physically demanding and draining. For most guys, sex gives them a good work out. Since you already say your guy is a generous lover, chances are he just doesn't feel he has the energy at the end of the workday to put the amount of effort into sex as he would like to.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2007
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 7:49am
Thanks. I was worried I was reading to much into it. Like I said we had a dry spell for several long months and I afraid we were heading back there. And then after I read a message about LL and "10 ways to perdict if your partner has LL" I was concerned that maybe that was our problem over the winter. I know my husband works hard and is actually tired. I think that I have a higher sex drive than him and I am expecting him to respond in turn. I'm glad I actually came to the message board, it puts things in prespective.