Need Help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Need Help!
3
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 3:59pm
Hi all. I'm new here - have been reading for a while but just joined so I could post too. I got divorced about 2 years ago. I'm living with my boyfriend of just over a year. We have awesome sex - better than anything I've ever had before. Here's the question, I just started touching myself during sex (only when he is inside me) and it's something I've always wanted to do. It's wonderful - I always orgasm this way. He asked me the other day if I could touch myself with him watching and not participating. I told him how difficult I thought this would be for me but I would like to try. I don't think he realizes what a HUGE step touching myself in front of him at all is for me. The idea of mastrabating in front of him is very exciting. I have tried to phyce myself up for this but last night when he asked me to - I just couldn't do it - told him I would feel too self-concious - which he was fine with. BUT this is something I want to do for him. Any ideas on how I can overcome this? Thanks for any suggestions!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
In reply to: jazz6661
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 4:16pm
Welcome aboard, jazz!

Glad to see that more and more of you are choosing to share your situations with us here. Hopefully you'll find the support, advice and help that you need :)

As always, we're all peers here and there's no expert advice. Please keep the Dr. Ruth message board in mind as well as this one if you hadn't visited already. The How to Have Hotter Sex board, among others as well, has been a great help for me and Mrs. Para many times too:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlruth

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlimproveyou

Just my personal thought, try to get him to keep at least some physical contact with you as you first start. In other words, get in the water slowly rather than just diving in, right? The more you do it after time, WITH physical contact remaining, then perhaps the more you'll be comfortable with doing it with less contact and less proximity. Hope that makes sense, works well with others by what I've heard. Some have even reported having him masturbate as well while you do. Lots of ideas out there. ;)

You're bound to get some great advice here. Let us know if anything helps and good luck! :)

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jazz6661
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 4:33pm
Hi Jazz, welcome to the board.

My suggestion? Shut your eyes or have him blindfold you. My DH and I have tried this many times and it's amazing how quickly you can forget that you're being watched. I also had to overcome the shyness involved with this but this helped me a great deal.

My DH likes to blindfold me and then begin stimulating me manually and then take my own hand and place it where he wants it as he begins licking my nipples, etc. It can be very erotic when you don't know what's happening next. Soon, you'll probably find that you don't need the blindfold, but you may still WANT it occasionally. I know we do!

And another suggestion, try very, very low lighting so you don't feel quite so exposed. One candle or one tiny lamp on in the room, rather than a glaring overhead light makes a LOT of difference.




Edited 7/28/2004 4:46 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: jazz6661
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 4:38pm
Hi Jazz and welcome to the board.

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