Need help about being confident...
Find a Conversation
Need help about being confident...
| Sat, 07-17-2004 - 4:28pm |
If any of you have seen 'Chasing Amy' you probably understand my situation. When I met my girlfriend it seemed as if she was extremely attracted to me with incredibly large penises (ex. 9-12 inches). And her previous two boyfriends were also extremely large. Knowing this at first didn't bother me in the least because I was pretty much always confident with what I had. "I'm average", that's how I always viewed it. But when it seemed like whenever she mention one of her ex's the first thing I would learn about him is how large his penis was. And I must also include that she is much more sexually experienced than I am...me being a virgin...and her being very openly bisexual. Now that we've actually fooled around and she has seen my penis...she wears that it's great and that she is happy with it, when previously in conversation (before she knew how large I was) she stated that a man of my size would be inadaquate and would be unable to please. I am having a hard time believing her when she says she is satisfied with it because I feel like she is just saying that to make me feel better. We haven't slept together yet and I'm still a virgin, but now I am even more hestitant because I feel like I can't please her.
I remember one of the things she used to say was, "I like big penises. You can't fault me for that and it's not going to change."
Now, that's true I can't fault her for having a preference, but is it weird for me to be a little insecure since I have been dating her?
Anyway, any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Pages
A man's penis is only ONE tool he has to make love to a woman, and a man who's a good lover knows that, and doesn't rely on the size of his penis to get women, or to give them pleasure. A man with an average penis can be a much better lover than a man with a large penis, if that man doesn't know how to please a woman.
The reason I wonder about your "relationship" with her is that she's already made you insecure, and you have nothing to be insecure about. SHE is very shallow, and she might be "experienced" but she sure doesn't know anything about how to talk to a man, and what to say to make him happy. What if you'd turned out to be just "average"? (And you KNOW that you're larger than average!) Would she have taken one look, and said sorry, you don't have enough for me? That tells you how much feeling she has for you, or for any man.
I don't know how old you are, but irregardless of that, the first person a "virgin" is with (male or female) will change their life.....and will give them feelings that they might carry for the rest of their life. This woman has already made you insecure, and you haven't even had sex yet!
What you need to do is find a woman who will make you feel loved and appreciated for what YOU are, not what size your penis is. This one is so unfeeling that she's already made you insecure, and if she doesn't like something you do, she can destroy your future confidence in other relationships. I'm sorry she's already done this to you, and I hope you won't let her continue to tear you down. On top of everything else, she's bi-sexual, and the way she talks to you will make you insecure about your relationship, and not only will you wonder if she's looking at other men, you have to worry about if she's looking at other women, too. She sounds very mean spirited, selfish, and unfeeling, and I think you could do better for your first relationship. You WERE confident with yourself till you met her....and you should be. You're larger than average, and as long as you fully understand that there is more to making love than your penis, there are many women out there that you can make VERY happy, and who won't tear down your confidence.
Just my opinion. You won't need help with confidence if you're not with a person who tears it down.
Some women the penis size matters to,
Oh, how awful for you.
there is nothing you can do about penis size, but there is a lot you can do in learning to please a woman and it's all that other stuff that truly gives her pleasure.
in spite of her previous comments, she said she liked yours. why not believe her? if it was that important to her and yours didn't meet her needs she would have been out of there by now.
To the OP, like I said before, learn to be a good lover by communicating with your partner about her needs and expressing your own. Knowing how to satisfy your partner is one sure way to boost your confidence.
Edited 7/18/2004 10:32 pm ET ET by sugarbeat
BEFORE you actually consumate your relationship....get this worked out. Why get more emotionally tied to someone who has made it clear that you don't meet her "physical requirements."
I OBVIOUSLY agree with most of what the other posters were saying. I DO believe, however, that you do have something to feel unsecure about. Being who you are and blessed with what you have is not something to be insecure about, but this relationship you have needs a closer look, IMHO, according to what you've shared so far.
All of your feelings are, IMO, justified. Lets face it, what normal guy WOULDN'T feel the way you have thus far, right? Let me share something for you to compare by, then you make the necessary decisions you need to make for yourself:
My wife had been more active than I when we first met. We did NOT fit well together at all, too tight, too big, it hurt. She NEVER mentioned her previous relationship (for her it was just the short lived one prior to me), she never hinted that it would never work, and she never let me get away with feeling insecure about myself either. It really wasn't working, but we were committed to staying a couple regardless. Eventually we worked it out to pretty much irresistible perfection today. Now Marisu, if that is the type of relationship you are needing compared to the one you have now, then I, like many others, am living proof that it DOES exist. I'm not saying that your new girlfriend 'meant' to hurt you, but that type of insensitivity is a prelude to your future relationship with her, and insensitivity reveals in many cases--whether that be this case or not--a true lack of concern for you. Post back again...don't leave us hangin'!
:)
chin up!
C H A R A C T E R
Now, I'm not a woman so, I don't know if this is true. But while talking to my sister on an unrelated subject, she very openly told me that she and her group of friends found it to be disgusting for a man to be larger than 7 inches. Anyway, what do you think of what she said. And should I still consider breaking up with her.
Hon, she should feel sorry for what she said....because she hurt you.
<> No, that is not a true statement.
Pages