Need Ideas...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2004
Need Ideas...
6
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 9:54am
Between being hurt a little in the past and some slight inexperience, I am very insecure in bed. My BF jokingly calls me a prude all the time because of my unwillingness to let loose or try new things, but is absolutely wonderful about understanding me. He lives a couple of hours away right now and I am going to spend this weekend with him. I really want to do something different that will make him happy, but at the same time, not make it weird for me. I have never really done anything like this before so ANY ideas would be great (nothing TOO crazy). Thanks in advance!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2007
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 10:01am
I am not exactly sure what types of new things you want to try but I'll try to give you some fun ideas... First, try foreplay in the shower. It's hot in there and wet and a great place for kissing and whatever else you want to do in there. If you are close to the same height, standing up sex in the shower could be fun for both of you. If you are comfortable with doggie style, that could be an idea as well. Good luck and remember to relax and have fun! As far as him calling you prude, most guys like to make fun of their girlfriends because thats what they do to their guy friends and he's just teasing you. I hope all this helped!!
~Jamie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 10:14am

Welcome to the board laurenleigh25.

It's a little difficult to guide you if we don't know what types of things you have experienced. If you're shy, then you might want to start trying new things in the dark. That way, you're giving him (and yourself) a new thrill, but he can't necessarily see all that is happening. Once you become more comfortable, then adding light will make the whole experience almost brand new again ;-)

If you haven't done woman on top (WOT), try that. If you have, try facing the other way (toward his feet).

If you are comfortable giving him oral sex, you could try that in a different environment. It's really not safe during driving, but on a balcony, parked car or while watching TV might be a nice treat.

You can also put a blindfold on him. You don't have to do anything wild while he's wearing it, but the mystery is very intriguing. Also, you won't have to be as shy, since he can't see. You can also tie his hands above his head or to the headboard. Just barely brushing against any part of his body, light kisses, tender strokes with the back of your finger nails, or warm breath on his skin will feel exciting to him. You could then give him oral, a hand job or do WOT for the grand finale.

Have fun with it, and let us know how things go.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 10:25am

Since it sounds like you want to do something to please him I would suggest that you spend a little money and buy some flavored body massage oil and give him a full body massage. There is a lot of information about how to do that right on the internet. here's a good one for a sexual full body massage.

http://www.themarriagebed.com/pages/sexuality/splay/massage-full.shtml

There is also an article there about how to give a non sexual full body massage if you don't feel comfortable about that one. If you learn how to do this right, your man will never complain again! That I can guarantee. And even the most shy person should be able to learn this.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 12:42pm

It would be helpful if you would tell us what you normally do.

Maybe the things you are doing now are not things many of us have tried. Maybe you are kinkier than you think. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2004
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 1:08pm
I know I have it in me, but for some reason, I can't bring that side of me out with him. It's not that I feel uncomfortable with him. I think I am just afraid of him rejecting me and what I do. I know it's awful, but I just lay there unless he "makes" me (or a beer or two in me). I don't want to be like that anymore, but I just don't know how to take initiative without feeling self-concious about it. What makes me feel differently with him compared to any other guy in my past? I want to be able to lose all inhabitations, I guess I just need a sure-fire way to do it where I will feel good about myself and what I am doing. Is this making any sense? Maybe I just need some reassurance in myself in the sex department (looks like a long dry spell can REALLY mess with your head!!!).
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 1:30pm

A lot of women react this way. I think that maybe they believe the fellow won't think they are a 'nice girl' anymore if they take the inititive to be a little agressive. But I can just about guarantee that almost all men love a woman that is a 'nice girl' outside the bedroom and a 'really bad girl' in the bedroom (or whereever they want you to be bad lol). I learned a lot of what I know about sex from not only experimentation but also from watching x-rated movies and I can rival the best x-rated porn star in the business if a man wants me too! But outside the bedroom, well I try to be that 'good girl' they can take home to mom :) Never had any complaints and its always me that ends the relationships I have had. And at 48 y/o I still have the young guys if I want them.

Ask him what he wants you to try and if its too much for you ask him for something smaller to start with. If he requests it, you may be more willing to try it out!

Edited 6/5/2007 1:34 pm ET by tami-kins




Edited 6/5/2007 1:34 pm ET by tami-kins