Need ideas to last longer!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Need ideas to last longer!!
2
Sat, 04-23-2005 - 3:22pm

I've been having really wonderful sex with my boyfriend for about a month now -- I think he's an amazing, and I love it! The "problem," I guess, is that we both wish that he could last longer, especially the first time we have sex that night. We'll go for about ten or fifteen minutes usually, but he'll frequently have to pull out, stop, or slow down (a la Masters & Johnson, except not quite that disciplined ...) For him, stop-and-go sex is a bit anticlimactic, and for me ... well, it's not at all.

I've read advice about stopping & starting (which we're doing, but don't love), positions to avoid (man on top, doggie style) and even desensitizing creams, which don't sound so nice.

What personal thoughts can you all share? We're both 20, and I'm the first person he has had sex with. Will experience & time help him last longer? We would both appreciate your wisdom.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Sat, 04-23-2005 - 6:40pm
He's doing great at 10 to 15 minutes before climaxing. The average is 3 to 5 minutes. I'm the same way as he is (most guys are actually). It feels soooo overwhelmingly incredible to come into a woman's body -the warmth, the softness, the wetness, the feeling of her pulse inside against your erect penis that is is VERY hard not to climax. All I can say is the stop and start method works great and he will benefit from doing this solo too. I call them "love exercises" He should stroke himself until "almost there" and then quit for 2 to 3 minutes and then go at it again until he's up to a full 20 minutes or more without climaxing. It takes some discipline but it's worth it for both of you for him to learn to do this. But I can tell you he's doing pretty darn good already.. When he stops it might help for him to come out of you and while he's getting back under control for him to kiss your vulva and clitoris to keep you "up there" until he's ready to re-enter you.Give this a try. These methods have been shown to really work for most couples.
very experienced Patrick
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Sat, 04-23-2005 - 10:28pm

Thank you for that, Patrick!

Ellen