Need Sex Now! if only my boyfriend did..

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2006
Need Sex Now! if only my boyfriend did..
4
Fri, 05-26-2006 - 11:34pm
Most young adults seem to be passionate about having sex. I am no exception. And my boyfriend, from the stories I hear him tell the guys about the girls he used to get with, he enjoys it too. So why is it then that I feel this relationship has turned into a vow of celibacy. I love the fact that he is not with me just for sex. But I do want some sex to be involved in our lifestyle.
What is worse is that I can be very shy at initiating sex; perhaps because some of the times I have tried, he came up with excuses. I don't know what to do! I have tried to talk with him about this, but all I seem to get are excuses. Is he not attracted to me? What am I doing wrong? What can I do to make him sexual wanting so that after I do it, he has to drop everything to pleasure me? I am sexually deprived over here. Any suggestions?!?!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2005
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 7:49am
There is nothing wrong with you, it is him. You sound like you have a very nice person who got stuck with a real jerk. Reading the information in your post, my first impression is that he is cheating on you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 8:06am

How often do you want sex and how often do you have sex?


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2006
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 4:21pm

Have you had sex with him yet? If not, maybe he just isn't ready to have sex WITH YOU yet. In a relationship, sex has to come naturally. Let's switch the roles for a second. If he was the woman, and you the man, society would tell you not to pressure him into anything he is not ready for. Who's the jerk now?
If you have had sex before, and it just dropped, it can be due to many things. Maybe he is physically tired from work, maybe his libido is lower than yours, maybe he finds there are problems with your connection, maybe the chemistry is lost, or maybe you are over-analysing. The only way to know is to talk to him about your concerns. See where that takes you.
G'luck !

-Mimmi

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 6:00pm

How often were you having sex and how often do you have it now?

Don't panic about being rejected. Unfortunately it's a fact of life that you'll be rejected now and again, but in your situation it sounds like you were fighting against the odds since he doesn't want sex as often in the first place. Until we figure out why he has stopped wanting sex as often your approaches were probably doomed to failure.

What exactly have you said to him about this? And what excuses has he made?

There are all sorts of things that can change how much and how often a person wants sex and unless we get a bit more info it'd be hard for us to really suggest anything more definite.