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needs advice
| Sat, 09-29-2007 - 1:59am |
My husband and I use to have the best sex life. Well I became pregnent in 11/2005 and had a wonderful lirttle girl June 21, 2006. Since that time, we have had sex three times. Well to say my husband is rather fustrated would be an understatment. I am just having a hard time getting in the mood.
Between our busy work scehdule and, having a 15 month old, we have no time. Also I feel very unattractive and have no sexual desire what so ever. (expect about 1 time a month about a day or so before my period is set to start) we are even discussing having another child.
Of course, my husband reminds me that something must be done first before that can happen. Any advice??

Welcome to the board athenasmommy2006.
Does your hubby help out with the kids and things around the house? Becoming a new mom is overwhelming, and it can often take up to a year to start feeling like your old self again. That all being said, you also need to make time for you and your husband, and push yourself to be intimate even if you're not in the mood.
I know I lost my libido after my second child was born. A combination of having a life full of too many demands, depression, and financial concerns. Having another baby is going to be even more demanding of your time and take more of your energy.
I'm sure you love spending time with your DD, but you need to find a way to balance that with time for yourself, your hubby, and your other interest/needs in life. Take time for yourself, and have hubby help out with the kids and chores around the house -- even if it's only for a couple of hours, one evening a week. Going out with a girlfriend, or alone for coffee, a haircut, getting your nails done, shopping for lingerie, etc. It can make a world of difference in how you feel about yourself. Some couples find that if they schedule date nights and/or sex nights, that's helpful too. Make a schedule and stick to it, and you should find that you look forward to your special nights.
Another thing you might find helpful is finding time to read the beard here. The more you think about sex, the more you'll be interested in having sex :-)
It's perfectly normal for your hormones to be out of whack for several months after having a baby.