Never made him cum through oral
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Never made him cum through oral
| Sun, 11-21-2004 - 8:50am |
Ok... here's my embarrassing problem... I've never made a guy cum through oral sex. I think I just don't do it for long enough... the guys tend to stop me so they can have full penetration... which I don't know whether is a good or bad sign lol. Am I doing something really wrong? I've started watching porn films and reading articles and I can't see I'm doing anything drastically wrong. I really want to make current guy cum through oral because he has had limited experiences and I want to be the girl who does these things for him (I;'m currently living out all his fantasies: wearing his football shirt, dressing up, french knickers, etc) but I haven't been with him long enough to ask for his input.
Any suggestings appreciated!

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You haven't been with him long enough to ask for his input??? If you can DO it, then you have been with him long enough to talk to him about it! If you can't talk about it then you shouldn't be doing it.
Unfortunatly, as Tish said, you can't MAKE anyone ejaculate, any more than a man can MAKE you have an orgasm. That's entirely up to him. He's young and inexperienced, and he's probably just not comfortable with oral sex yet. Wearing french knickers or his football shirt has nothing to do with it. When he's ready, it'll happen, and not until. There are some guys that never make it orally. Every guy is different, too. Some like it faster, some like it slower.....and the only way to know what any guy likes is to ASK him.
Watching porn films is not going to teach you much, because that's all fake. They're actors, and they're paid to do what they do, including faking climaxes and orgasms. When it comes to oral, there's not much you can do wrong, unless you hurt him in some way.
You haven't been with him long enough to ask his input?! Letsee, you can strip naked in front of his and put his penis in your mouth but you can't talk to him about it? You've got that backwards: theoretically you should be able to talking to him before sticking his penis into your mouth.
Anyway, does he know that you are happy to let him cum in your mouth? Are you happy to let him cum in your mouth? Have you told him that you want to make him cum?
Some guys hold themselves back if a girl hasn't told them that it's OK to cum in their mouth. Some hold back because they think that the girl will want intercourse so thay're 'saving' their erection for intercourse. Some can't let themselves have an orgasm for all sorts of reasons - maybe they're concentrating too hard, maybe they can't relax and let it happen, maybe the stimulation is almost but just not quite right to do it for them.
Talk to him.
Don't worry about it too much. Since he is so inexperienced and is likely enjoying learning, maybe he does just want to save his erection for the penetration so he can experience more of that. If you are truly enjoying the "giving", then I am sure you are doing nothing wrong. You should let him know that it is ok for him to go in your mouth or, if it is not, then tell him to let you know before he goes...
I can say that I'm sure his getting off through oral probably has nothing to do with your technique. With my first ever boyfriend, he LOVED getting oral, and he bragged about "training" me to give the best head he's ever had (he was a jerk, but he made me confident in my abilities), and I always let him go in my mouth. Subsequent boyfriends have said the same, but didn't always go in my mouth--usually we would wind up getting so worked up that we just went at it. My current DBF said that I was by far the best oral he had ever had, but that he had NEVER gotten off through it. He will be 32 in a month, and he just got off through oral/manual stimulation a week ago! And you know what he said? He loved it, but he never wants to go in my mouth again because it makes him feel dirty (he has a lot of hangups about sex acts being bad because of his religious upbringing).
So, like I said, I'm sure it has nothing to do with your technique. Just enjoy the act, and then maybe someday he will go from oral. Also, maybe if you do it at a time when he knows you won't want intercourse, then he may be more likely to let go (I, in particular, do not care for sex during AF.)
The first 3 replies all said "you've had sex but cant talk to him about it - thats wrong"
well i dont agree, theres a fair bit of talking to do before you get to the sex, fair enuf. But that dont mean you can talk about absolutely anything from then on.
The more you can talk openly and honestly the better of course, but most people do have some sort of limit , in my case cos theres a much higher risk of hurting someones feelings then when talking about something else.
anyhoo, back to the subject at hand. I rarely cum from oral and im not alone in that.
although again in my case I think my ex-girlfriend might have f**ked me up psychologically.
in the intrests of developing a healthy communication about sex (like we were just taliking about) I once mentioned that her blowjob technique was a bit rough and that i didnt want to feel teeth... and she went f****ng nuts. we had argument that went on for days..
but generally i think lots of guys dont come from a blojob unless they are particulary relaxed or turned on or something, usually they start on the full sex before that happens
I have to disagree with your first part.
I've been having sex for 32 years, and I have rarely climaxed through oral. When I do, it's because I'm thrusting and using her mouth as a substitute vagina. I have had some awfully good lovers over the years. I never held it against any of them because she couldn't make me cum through oral. I've never cum from just a handjob, either. It's just the way I am.
As for wanting to stop oral and switch to intercourse, some men...me included...prefer to cum inside my partner's vagina.
Please don't be too hard on yourself. I suspect you aren't doing anything wrong. Your man just doesn't cum that way. I have a feeling he's still enjoying himself plenty!