NEVER made me reach my orgasm....Advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2005
NEVER made me reach my orgasm....Advice?
17
Tue, 07-12-2005 - 1:08pm

I've been with my gf for a while and we are both are virgins. We've done everything except anal and vaginal penetration but I have no complaints about our sexual activity except that I wish it would happen more often.

The thing is that she has never made me reach an orgasm. I remember the first time she touched me sexually it was with a handjob. It felt amazing to say the least, but I didn't come after a good 45-50 min of going at it. Then she started giving me oral some time afer that on a different occasion but again, I never came from that either. She always starts playing with me or going down, and then I just finish myself when she gets tired. For a long time now, after all the foreplay and the giving recieving oral for a few minutes is over and we're ready to both reach our orgasms we do the same thing (still no complaints though!). What I do is lay on my back and masturbate while she basically sits on my face and I have come to the point where I can control my orgams and about 95% of the times, we orgasm at the same time which is great.

What I have been thinking about for a little while is that what is going to happen when we do have sex? Will I be able to reach an orgasm through vaginal penetration even though handjobs and oral sex haven't worked?

jerz

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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 3:01pm

Not everyone thinks like you though and you can't assume that they do. And you aren't talking with people who know you here, you're talking to strangers. Plenty of young people don't believe that oral, manual and even anal sex are sex either. And since there is a wide range of ages on this board, it's important to remember that there will also be a wide range of experiences and perspectives.

Everyone tends to be more specific on a message board since the point is to discuss specific issues, problems and experiences. Specific details always help.




Edited 7/14/2005 3:20 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 7:16pm
I haven't got a lot more to add. I just thought that I'd say that I liked the way iblaster put it - you don't have to think about what your hand is doing when you masturbate. It does exactly what you want it to do, whereas your g/f doesn't know exactly when and how to do what in the way that makes you orgasm. That's where directing her and showing her can be very important. Likewise, you can't expect it to feel exactly like masturbating, you have to kinda relax and go with the different feelings that A HJ or Bj from her produce.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2005
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 1:56pm
Ok, so you and your girl are both used to the same actions that produce your orgasms. I had a similar situation....I couldn't orgasm from intercourse because I was so used to oral and toys. Until you decide to have intercourse I really don't have any advice. Once that happens, in the future....I think you will be able to get past this issue. Once you have multiple ways to orgasm, oral, intercourse, anal, manual, etc....you will retrain yourself to orgasm from the stimulation of any of these. Does that make any sense at all??
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2005
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 2:30pm

Yes, it makes sense. I guess it's too early to be thinking too much into this. I'll wait until we do have sex to see how I really feel and see exactly what happens. In the mean time, I'll take what everbody told me so far and apply it so that eventually I can orgasm in different ways other than through masturbation.

jerz

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2005
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 2:53pm
So, if I can ask, why exactly have you decided to wait??? (From one young person to another).
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2005
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 3:20pm

One reason is because neither of us are willing to take the risk of her getting pregnant, plain and simple. I don't care what kind of birth control is out there and if more than one bc is used and together they are 99.99999999999% effective. There is nothing out there that is 100% full proof. So basically that's why we haven't had sex and we've been together for almost 2 and a half years.

And another thing, we both REALLY don't see the need, to be honest. We both satisfy each other sexually w/o engaging is sex, so in our eyes it's all good! Neither of us ever pressured the other to do it. We both decided that when it happens, it will be the right time. I picture both of us graduated from college already both on our feet, possibly living together when it actually happens. So in this case, IF she were to become pregnant we are already supporting oursleves and will be ready for a baby.

jerz

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2005
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 3:24pm
I understand. Coming from a sex addict, it's interesting for me to listen to other's view points. Good luck :)

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