Never in the mood

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
Never in the mood
4
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 3:13pm

I don't know where to post this but, I will give here a shot.

I don't know what my deal is, but I am never in the mood for sex. I don't know if it's because I don't feel sexy, or I feel as though I cannot perform right, but I am never in the mood.

I really want to please my partner, but I am never in the mood! What are some ways I can get my libido back, and/or learn some tricks that are a sure fire way to get the passion back in my relationship.

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 7:05pm

The mind is the biggest sex organ and many times it's just a matter of changing your mindset.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 8:26pm
Are you on Birth Control?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 12:00am

Before you can get it back, you have to figure out where it went, and why. There can be physical reasons, there can be emotional reasons. You can be taking various medications that are doing it. Have you had a baby recently, within the last year or so?

Have you seen your gyno? Had hormone levels checked? Sometimes problems in the bedroom are due to problems outside the bedroom.

Sometimes people just get bored, and don't do things to keep the relationship working. Try to figure out why and when you started feeling this way, and then you can work on fixing it.

It sounds like maybe you never enjoyed sex....and that can be your fault, or your partner's fault. Is he a lazy or selfish lover? Feeling that you don't "perform" well isn't really a reason to avoid sex......because it's not a performance, it's supposed to be a pleasure. And how can you learn to "perform" if you don't work at it?

Maybe you can give more details about what's going on or NOT going on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2007
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 12:46am

I gree w/the previous posters there is no right or wrong when it comes to sex. The whole point is pleasure, pleasure, pleasure...if your not feeling it, Why? With anything not just sex if something makes us feel uncomfortable, miserable, ect. then we tend to shy away from it. If that's why your never in the mood, well then, you need to do some thinking and try figure out what is triggering these feelings. You say"I'm never in the mood" but ask yourself this, if thoughts of not being "in the mood" are popping into your mind, well then you are atleast thinking about it.

I know for me, if I don't feel beautiful, or sexy, or desired by my DH then i'm not going to be in the mood either. But I can't leave it all up to my DH to make me feel all theese things because I have to feel them on my own to.

Go to a sexy woman's lengerie store and check out what they have. Buy YOURSELF something that will make you feel like your the sexiest, most beautiful woman in the world.