never orgasm during sex
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| Tue, 01-04-2005 - 3:11pm |
hi. every time i'm with a guy, whether we're having sex or fooling around, it feels really good for me but when he "cums", it's over. i have never experienced the joy of having a man make me orgasm. all the orgasms i've ever had were caused by me. i feel like the men i've been with aren't paying attention to my sexual needs. even after they "cum", they won't try to bring me to an orgasm. i've tried having an orgasm during sex but i find it's very difficult because i know how to touch myself and it's hard for guys to touch me in the exact way i like it. i also fantisize passionately during msturbation and use a vibrator which helps me to orgasm but during sex, i'm distracted and a vibator gets in the way.
does anyone know how i can get an orgasm during sex and enjoy it as much as i know my male partners are. i would really appreciate it

You've got things a little backwards. Men don't "give" you orgasms! They can help you get there, but that's all. Your orgasms are up to you.
Also, you're like the 80% of women who don't have orgasms during intercourse. That's because we need clitoral stimulation, since the clitoris is a woman real sex organ, not her vagina.
You need to teach your partner(s) what a woman needs. That means LOTS of foreplay, oral and manual stimulation of the clitoris, before they get to have the intercourse that THEY want. If they do that, you'll have your orgasms before you get to intercourse. Also, during intercourse, HE can stimulate your clitoris, or you can try different positions, like woman on top, which will stimulate the clitoris because you're rubbing it against him.
If you let them get away without giving you foreplay, then they'll finish, and most guys, when they're finished, they're finished. Just like anywhere else, in bed it should be "ladies first". If you want it, you have to ask for it.
It's your body, and if you don't tell them what you want and need, and allow them to get away with it, then it's not going to happen. You have to ask for what you want, or you won't get it.
"All the orgasms I've ever had were caused by me." Well, that sounds about right since no man will ever "GIVE" you an orgasm! He can only stimulate you the way you instruct him to, the rest is up to you and always will be. It's up to you to provide the mental stimulation and be open to pleasure.
We all have to learn to "let go" with a partner and lose the inhibitions enough to orgasm in front of another person. And that's easier for some than others. But you know your own body better than any man ever will, and visa versa, and it takes time, patience and practice to learn to please each other.
BUT if you aren't satisfied, manually, orally or vaginally, at the end of your session, then your partner SHOULD make every effort to change that. IF he isn't doing that, then that's just plain ignorance and/or selfishness and it should be addressed.
And to help you get closer to orgasm during intercourse? Do what you do when alone...manually stimulate your clitoris, touch other parts of your body that arouse you, shut your eyes and concentrate on your pleasure.
One position that probably gives my wife the most orgasms is when she is on top and I am in a seated position. The perfect example is on the edge of the bed or if I sit on the sofa and she climbs on top. My penis enters her on a slightly different angle and it allows her to do a rocking or grinding motion of her pubic bone against mine. The grinding motion will stimulate her clit and bring her to orgasm much faster. Also, if I lift my hips just a little, the tip of my penis will rub against her g spot and drive her nuts!
Play around with it. You will be amazed how much different sex can feel by just changing the angle a tiny bit. If your guy can't "last" that long, then be greedy yourself and make him cum before sex, and focus sex all on yourself. You deserve it!