New bf's a virgin....

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Registered: 04-04-2005
New bf's a virgin....
5
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 9:42am

Update to the new (younger) guy I'm dating. We've only been dating a couple weeks, he's 23, I'm 27. So far, absolutely wonderful.

Then I got a huge shocker last night - he confessed he was a virgin, which no one knows but his 2 best friends. And I would have never guessed, because so far he doesn't seem at all inexperienced. That, and he's a total jock/gym rat, plays every sport imagineable, and he's totally hot!

But he told me he had had a gf for 4 yrs, but they never had sex. He said it's not because he didn't want to, that it was her decision. And since, he just never found someone that he wanted to have r'ship with, and he would never do a one-nighter. I admit, I found that so respectable, especially for a guy his age.

What I worry about now, is that I'm not a virgin, (which he knows) and have slept with a fair amount of guys - 7 (which he doesn't know). I have also never been a guy's first. I guess I'm just a little nervous/overwhelmed now, because I have the feeling I will probably be his first very soon. So just looking for any advice or to hear similar stories anyone would like to share.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 10:13am

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bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 10:33am

Don't allow this news to make you feel pressured or nervous.

My DH was a virgin at 22 when we met and I was also pleasantly surprised by the news because he seemed very comfortable and experienced. And he had girls throwing themselves at him so one tends to make assumptions one shouldn't. I only wish I had known it before we became intimate but he confessed weeks afterwards.

And don't feel the need to tell your guy how many partners you've had since that number will only stick in his mind and do nothing but harm, particularly in this case. Your past is your past so leave it there.

Just let the first time progress naturally and let him take the lead as much as he chooses. As Tish pointed out, he may or may not know how to please you, so don't hesitate to ask for what you need.

This is a gift he's giving you so just enjoy one another.




Edited 4/5/2005 10:39 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
Avatar for elainetwirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 5:11pm
Gosh, if I were you I would count it a real privilege that you are going to be the first woman in this man's life. Treat him with love and respect, and don't draw attention in any way to the fact that he is not your very first, too. I have never slept with a man who is a virgin, but I am sure there are things you will have to teach him -- but then, a woman needs to teach every man she has sex with a lot of things not only about what females enjoy, but also about what she as a specific woman with specific needs enjoys. I hope you have a wonderful relationship with this lovely man. Elaine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2005
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 9:38am
I have to admit that I like being with virgins because it gives you a stronger intamate conection and i dont have to worry as much about getting something from them. My first husband was a virgin but once he got a taste of sex he was a cheating little punk so Id be more worried that he might try to make up for lost time. On the positive side you can teach him the way you like it from the very begining. Have fun.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Thu, 04-07-2005 - 4:56am

Advice from my corner would be to hush up the worries and just enjoy, LOL! No better way to put it.

You're with him because of the fantastic relationship, so just let your physical relationship with him be nothing more than of the non-physical relationship you enjoy now.

DON'T view this as do or die perfection or anything. Just enjoy each other and enjoy each other. There is nothing to be nervous about.

 

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