New here and want opinions

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
New here and want opinions
31
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 1:32pm

I am new to this board and wanted some insight from women about an upcoming exciting getaway for my wife and I. We are finally getting away for a night to a nice place-hot tub in the room, nice and romantic. Obviously, we will have sex during our stay. My question is, without going into a ton of detail, how should I proceed. My wife and I have been making GREAT progress with our sexlife in general over the past couple of years-been married over 15 years. Used to average about 1-2x a month, now up to 4-5x a month. Now, the wife is somewhat inhibited so it is typically very vanilla sex and honestly, that is fine by me. I would love for her to give me more oral-probably have received 2x thus far this calendar year. She allows me to give to her more frequently but not as often as I would like. But, like I say, I can live with her not giving me bj's if we have sex more often. I would love to get our amount to about twice a week and it seems we are getting closer to that mark-so, much praise to my wife because she has a much lower libido than do I so I feel she is really making an effort.

Ok, so there is a little background. My question is, knowing that she has a lower libido than mine and knowing we are only at this romantic place ONE night, how aggressive should I be for sex. Meaning, should I try for it the instant we enter the room, should I play it cool and let her tell me when she is ready? I just want it to go REALLY well and also want to maximize the amount of sex we can have without her thinking the only thing I want our of her during the one day/night escape is sex. Now, don't get me wrong, I would love nothing better than than to have a f***fest where we don't leave the room and just go at it for hours. But, knowing that during our nearly 20 years together we have NEVER had one, I certainly don't expect anything like that to happen. I just want us to enjoy each other and have a great time and hopefully have some great sex. But, I guess I just don't want to seem to aggressive, too pushy etc if you know what I mean.

This might sound like a stupid post or whatever but I really just want to get some opinions on how much is too much sex on a one night stay. Probably arrive at 3P one day and leave at 1P the next day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Thu, 07-26-2007 - 10:26am
Thanks for the response. I agree with you, I am going to play it cool, not let her know I have any expectations because that would add pressure to her. I am going to let her take the lead and dictate what happens. She knows we are not going there to watch TV or read books so no sense in putting any undue pressure on her to perform. She has made mention she is going to trim herself up some before our day away-a very good sign for me because it means she is hoping for some attention down below. Now, I really am not one that requires her to trim to go down there but her taking the time to groom nicely is an appreciated gesture and one that gets my blood pumping just thinking about.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Thu, 07-26-2007 - 10:45am

Great! That is a good sign. Who knows .. maybe she is making her own plans for seducing you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 4:02pm
Thanks-we will see soon. I hope to be able to come back here and let everyone know the details. It should be a lot of fun just to be away and relax/unwind without the kids. I think every couple needs to do it every so often. I know my wife and I need to make it a point to do this again soon-not wait years as we have done until our special night coming up soon.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 12:18pm
Had a great time with the wife on our night away. More than anything, it was just nice to step away from our busy lives and just relax. Had sex three times, some oral for me and for her, three different positions as well. My equipment actually had trouble operating-as I am not getting any younger and I am certainly not used to having to perform hours apart. I have found out that I believe I need a day in between encounters because after my first O, we had sex again about 3-4 hours later and although I could get hard, maintaining it and working to O was more a little bit more difficult. I still got there but I had to work for it while usually, when it has been days between, I have to work to stop myself from letting go too quickly. Then, the next morning, again it was work and I felt like I was EMPTY-like nothing was left in the tank when it was time to cum. So, we both agreed we need to do it again in near future but with young kids, our lives are very busy. Still, we connected and it felt great.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 4:32pm
Great to hear that pappy! Good for you and DW!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 5:25pm
Congratulations! That's great. I am so happy for you..



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 12:48am

Thanks for the update pappy. I'm glad your weekend went well. I wouldn't worry about your equipment not working as well as you would have liked. That sort of thing happens to most men at some time or another. Since you're not having problems on a regular basis, it probably just had to do with circumstances more than anything else.

Hopefully this weekend helped the two of you reconnect. That can go a long way to helping you both realize how important it is to make time for each other.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2007
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 4:23am
I'm so happy for you and your DW,pappy. I'm glad that you had a wondeful weekend and that what I thik I am hearing is that connected on A wonderful level, and this is what you wanted. I thought I heard you say that the two you also talked of future encounters. when you get home. Romance is important in any loving marriage, like yours. I'm happy for you both and wish you a long,loving,laughing,hugging,sharing,caring,marriage. Just don't forget the desire & fire, soft & sensual,pleasurable exploring of each other, while you two are rockin' that bed all over the room!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2007
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 6:29am
Congratulations! Soo happy for you and your wife!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 8:52am

Thanks Misty and all others that responded. It was a great night and morning. I am still amazed at my equipment though. I was actually losing my erections at times but could get it back-just didn't feel FULLY aroused. Now, the first time, I felt like I normally do, rock hard and VERY sensitive but after that first time, we had dinner, walked around some, then came back and got in the hot tub and start doing it in the hot tub and then got out and finished on the bed-but, maybe because of the hot tub or the wine we had, I just didn't have a lot of feeling in my member-even while she was giving me a nice blow job. I have to admit was a bit irritated that the bj didn't feel as incredible as normal-I didn't let her know that of course, I moaned and groaned as loud as normal but the feeling was just not there-and it was not because she was not doing a good job. Then, the next morning, we woke up and I got her off manually and then we started going at it. Again I had to really work at keeping my full erection and even then, it was not as powerful as my normal erection is. Now, I am not worried at all-I was still able to perform, I guess I just felt like I should be able to perform like a guy much younger while my body was saying, you are not as young as you used to be, not used to having this amount of sex in this short time frame. When I think about it, it was 3x in about 16 or 17 hours.

Thanks again for all your well wishes and I do hope we can continue the connection at home. Flo will be visiting us soon so not sure when I will next have sex but that one night will stay with me for a long while.

Oh one more question for you ladies-what do you consider a blow job. Do you consider it when you go down on him until he cums? For my wife, a blow job has always consisted of oral action for about 1-2 minutes just prior to intercourse. Is that still considered a blow job or is there another name for that? I can really only think of one sexual activity that would make my sex life complete with my wife and that is for her to give me a bj from start to finish. I have asked her about and she says no way she will do that. I do respect her wishes but can't help but still want that experience. I guess one time when she is giving me head, I can let her get me nearly there and then tell her I am about to blow and she can then pull back and jerk me off-that would be a close to it as possible and here recently, she has started asking me if I want her to jerk me off or do I want to have sex, something she has never done in our marriage. Don't get me wrong, I prefer intercourse as does she but, before recently, she was very reluctant to even touch me down there, and now, she touches me often and has even started jerking me off. If she senses I am about to cum, she will ask me how I want to cum and mostly I say via intercourse but a few times I have let her just jack me off.