New here and want opinions

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
New here and want opinions
31
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 1:32pm

I am new to this board and wanted some insight from women about an upcoming exciting getaway for my wife and I. We are finally getting away for a night to a nice place-hot tub in the room, nice and romantic. Obviously, we will have sex during our stay. My question is, without going into a ton of detail, how should I proceed. My wife and I have been making GREAT progress with our sexlife in general over the past couple of years-been married over 15 years. Used to average about 1-2x a month, now up to 4-5x a month. Now, the wife is somewhat inhibited so it is typically very vanilla sex and honestly, that is fine by me. I would love for her to give me more oral-probably have received 2x thus far this calendar year. She allows me to give to her more frequently but not as often as I would like. But, like I say, I can live with her not giving me bj's if we have sex more often. I would love to get our amount to about twice a week and it seems we are getting closer to that mark-so, much praise to my wife because she has a much lower libido than do I so I feel she is really making an effort.

Ok, so there is a little background. My question is, knowing that she has a lower libido than mine and knowing we are only at this romantic place ONE night, how aggressive should I be for sex. Meaning, should I try for it the instant we enter the room, should I play it cool and let her tell me when she is ready? I just want it to go REALLY well and also want to maximize the amount of sex we can have without her thinking the only thing I want our of her during the one day/night escape is sex. Now, don't get me wrong, I would love nothing better than than to have a f***fest where we don't leave the room and just go at it for hours. But, knowing that during our nearly 20 years together we have NEVER had one, I certainly don't expect anything like that to happen. I just want us to enjoy each other and have a great time and hopefully have some great sex. But, I guess I just don't want to seem to aggressive, too pushy etc if you know what I mean.

This might sound like a stupid post or whatever but I really just want to get some opinions on how much is too much sex on a one night stay. Probably arrive at 3P one day and leave at 1P the next day.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Thu, 08-02-2007 - 8:56am

I consider any amount of oral sex performed on a guy to be a blow job -- doesn't have to be to completion. Since she's not always saving you for intercourse, and is now offering to finish you manually, there is a chance that one day she will continue with the blow job to completion. Lots of woman won't let their guy finish in their mouth, which sounds like might be a reality for you as well. Perhaps the next time she asks you how you want her to finish you off, you could suggest that she continue with oral, but that you will let her know when you are going to cum. That way, she can avoid having you cum in her mouth.

If you think that would cause problems during sex, or a be a turn off for her, you could also bring it up outside of the bedroom as a "what if" type of question.



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