new here, with a worry
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new here, with a worry
| Fri, 01-27-2006 - 6:28pm |
Hi I am new to this board. Just a quick question about what's been going on with my guy as of late. The past 2 nights, when we've had sex, he hasn't been able to finish, meaning he never came. He just gives up a few minutes after I've come. Then he kinda acts like it embarasses him. And he jokingly tells me how I'm slacking cause he didn't come. Which hurts my feelings a little, but he tells me he's just joking, maybe to take the spotlight off himself? Thing is, I don't think I'm doing anything different than usual that would keep him from coming, and he's never had trouble coming before. He also couldn't come once last week. But we've been having a lot of sex lately, just about every night, so I was thinking maybe he's "building up stamina" so to speak, and it's taking him longer to get there. He just gives up and stops after 10 minutes or so (if I've already come). I don't act like he needs to hurry up and finish, I told him we could keep going. Anyone know what the problem might be and have any advice on how to fix it? He'll be out of town this weekend, so it'll give us a couple days rest. I just want to nip it the bud, cause I'm afraid if it keeps happening it will put pressure on us both to get him off, which can't be good. Any advice?
Thanks
Thanks

You can't nip it in the bud because it has nothing to do with you.
I agree with Tish. This has NOTHING to do with you. It is NOT something you did or didn't do. You have NOTHING to do with his ejaculation. This is exactly the same as a woman's orgasm. A man doesn't "give" her orgasms, they're up to her, and sometimes it just doesn't happen. It has nothing to do with the man. He's responsible for his, you're responsible for yours.
It's not unusual, and it happens to lots of guys occasionally. Sometimes, it's just a "self fulfilling prophecy". It happened once, and now he's worried about it, and as long as he's worrying, it will happen again.
You can't "nip it in the bud". There's nothing to "nip". It's good he's going away, because THAT will take the pressure off him, and when he gets back, everything will probably be fine. If it's NOT...and it's not due to some medication that he just started taking, then maybe he needs to get a physical to make sure everything is okay. It's rarely physical though...
The bigger the issue either of you makes about it, the worse it will get. It's not the end of the world.....so don't make a problem where there is none.
PS: Being that he's left hanging because he stops......what does he do then? Does he finish himself? If so, that's proof that he's capable, and whatever is going on, it's not physical.
Just in case it's not obvious, drugs and/or alcohol can both have this effect on a guy's performance. And the drugs don't have to be the illegal variety; anti-depressants are notorious for this effect on orgasmic capability.
Pain meds can definitely cause it, they kill the pain by dulling the senses which will dull all senses not just where the pain is.