Newsweek - Why get married?
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Newsweek - Why get married?
| Wed, 07-14-2004 - 1:24pm |
There are some interesting responses to the Newsweek article on cheating wives which brings up a question? Why do people still want to get married, on the affair support board many are wanting to marry their affair partner and start the perfect life. If you are a male the court system is going to destroy you in a divorce so why keep getting married. Just a note to start, I think there have allways been just about the same amount on cheating women as men (who would the men have sex with, so it has to be about the same). A recent college study with a lie detector showed that women lie about sex questions and that throws off surveys that don't use them. Over all the percent of cheating women and men has increased over the past thirty years as well as the divorce rate. Currently, according to paternity lab results, about 30% of children in divorce cases were not fathered by the husband.
Getting married is a huge gamble with your life and the current success rate is less than 50%. I am currently married and have been for a long time but if I were ever divorced or a young person starting out I don't think I would ever marry. The odds of being betrayed are just too great.

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in ANY relationship, not just marriage. How does
NOT getting married protect you from betrayal?
If anything, your odds are better
because at least you both started out (hopefully)
with intentions of a firm commitment.
meant being a doormat. But it shouldn't
have to, because a loving partner
wouldn't treat you that way in the first place.
Edited 7/24/2004 8:54 am ET ET by verve2004
"Marriage is more than a word, it's a sentence."
Your meaning is probably obvious, but there's nothing wrong with 'some' of us hearing it again anyway, right? ;)
C h a r a c t e r
above all else
Mr. Para
C H A R A C T E R
...but thats only if I do so from your point of view. If you'll allow me, I'd like to offer another point of view:
Despite the numerous and even evergrowing number of challenges facing the possibilities of enjoying a loving committed marriage these days, always remember that there ARE those of us who have one . Although you've witnessed the 'evidence' through your point of view of just how impossible it seems to find a good and committed woman here in America, it is just as realistic to remember that the stories you've heard do not represent of them and the women you've seen do not represent of them and the divorce vs. marriage stats you've read does not indicate it must include future necessarily either.
Your point of view has what appears to be very valid backup, LOL, but that is a point of view based only on what YOU have learned or investigated. I encourage you to learn from other points of views as well, particularly positive ones. Feel free to compare what you've learned with the views of happy marriages out there, particularly those that have lasted a while. There are some right here on THIS message board who've been married for quite some time actually, but take a peek at the Happily Married board
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlhappilymar
and feel free to ask them this same question. You'll obviously get mixed responses just like here, but that board actually on the subject and may likely be able to provide better wording than we probably can here on the topic.
Hope you consider it, and please keep an open mind...u just might b surprised.
C h a r a c t e r
above all else
Mr. Para
C H A R A C T E R
Sometimes it is a wakeup call! My husband of 18 years had an 'online affair' and I was devastated for a moment and then I realized it was an opportunity to communicate about why and what we wanted and what we are going to do with our future!
We have a better marraige, we have sex more now than when we were dating, *better sex , and I see a future that includes "us".
I think people get lazy when they get married. It's work, marraige isn't a reason to sit back and watch the world go by - kwim?
I just find it ludicrous that you think that most women marry for the wedding day ONLY and not for any other reason. I know that I wanted all of my family, friends and co-workers to be present at my wedding because I loved all of them and it was an important event to me. We had 225 people at our wedding, but at the time it was $16.00 a plate(and that was the cheapest). We paid for our own wedding and we broke out even. We're married 23 years. I remember that day still, but it's just a symbol of the beginning of a journey, not the end(as you suggest). That's sad really. My daughters will want to get married, but not until they fall in love--not just for attention(as you put it). They don't need the attention of others to feel good about themselves. When they marry it will be for the real reasons--love, commitment, family. They're American, and proud of it.
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