Newsweek - Why get married?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Newsweek - Why get married?
132
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 1:24pm
There are some interesting responses to the Newsweek article on cheating wives which brings up a question? Why do people still want to get married, on the affair support board many are wanting to marry their affair partner and start the perfect life. If you are a male the court system is going to destroy you in a divorce so why keep getting married. Just a note to start, I think there have allways been just about the same amount on cheating women as men (who would the men have sex with, so it has to be about the same). A recent college study with a lie detector showed that women lie about sex questions and that throws off surveys that don't use them. Over all the percent of cheating women and men has increased over the past thirty years as well as the divorce rate. Currently, according to paternity lab results, about 30% of children in divorce cases were not fathered by the husband.

Getting married is a huge gamble with your life and the current success rate is less than 50%. I am currently married and have been for a long time but if I were ever divorced or a young person starting out I don't think I would ever marry. The odds of being betrayed are just too great.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 11:42am
Yes it is very, VERY sad.. the way the American family has fallen apart because of the selfishness of women. I'm glad your daughters are solid individuals, and I'm glad your marriage has lasted 23 years, but clearly, you are from a different time when people knew their roles. But good for you, and it sounds like you've had a good life, and will continue to do so, and best of luck to your daughters.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2003
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 12:01pm
As for many young women these days....call me cynical, but I do believe that for many, the driving force is the fairytale wedding day - not the long term implications of what they are doing. Have you ever lurked on the Weddings boards? Some of those women are just so focussed on having that perfect day that they become totally demanding and uncaring about anyone else's feelings. It's all me, me, me. >>

Someone doesn't just become a "me me me" person. Those men are marrying "me me me" women. It has nothing to do with the wedding day but the type of person you are marrying.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2003
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 12:03pm
I see so many posts from people who are just dating or engaged and determined to persist in relationships that are dysfunctional because "I love him". If a relationship isn't close to perfect in the dating stage, how on earth to they expect a marriage to succeed?>>

Ok - maybe a disagreement or 2 but I've seen people determined to marry someone that they seem to dislike already for numerous reasons! One thing my children will know is that YES people DO change but YOU can NOT change them. And the changes that take place may not be the ones you wanted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 12:12pm
You still aren't coming across clearly. When you say "act like men" are you referring to gender roles or unfeminitity(with respect to looks and characteristics)? I'm in a pre-dominantly male profession. I assure you, I'm not trying to be a male, just like what I do. Can you please elaborate for the sake of clarity.


Edited 7/24/2004 12:17 pm ET ET by free_to_choose
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 12:25pm
>>Yes it is very, VERY sad.. the way the American family has fallen apart because of the selfishness of women.<<

No, it hasn't. It has been a collaborative effort, men *and* women. What do you think of a man who marries and then has children with a "Selfish American Woman"? Do you think men are not at fault for who they pick to help raise their kids? Do men not have any responsibility for what kind of adults their kids turn out to be? I'd like to know how men are faultless here, because two parents raise kids not one. What is with going on about women being able to work in air conditioned offices? Men are not the only people who have invented things. Are you proposing that women shouldn't be allowed to use things invented by men? Are you going to get rid of all your things invented by women? I have seen the very same behavior you chastise women for displayed by countless men. It is across the board, not exclusive to women. You know what I find sad? People who condemn the very country that gives them the freedoms they enjoy, the benefits they reap. If you don't like the way America is changing, do something about it. Influence those around you and create a ripple.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 12:55pm

<way?>>


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 1:46pm
I agree Kat. My DH and I have had the same discussion. I want the respect of knowing about a potential affair. It would be over anyhow(after the fact), so the least he could do is let me off the hook first.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 2:11pm
I'm referring to BOTH gender roles and unfeminitity! You don't know what a man acts like and what a woman acts like?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 2:50pm

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bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 3:29pm
Nevermind, waste of time.

Leticia


Edited 7/24/2004 3:32 pm ET ET by yarn_lover

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