Newsweek - Why get married?
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Newsweek - Why get married?
| Wed, 07-14-2004 - 1:24pm |
There are some interesting responses to the Newsweek article on cheating wives which brings up a question? Why do people still want to get married, on the affair support board many are wanting to marry their affair partner and start the perfect life. If you are a male the court system is going to destroy you in a divorce so why keep getting married. Just a note to start, I think there have allways been just about the same amount on cheating women as men (who would the men have sex with, so it has to be about the same). A recent college study with a lie detector showed that women lie about sex questions and that throws off surveys that don't use them. Over all the percent of cheating women and men has increased over the past thirty years as well as the divorce rate. Currently, according to paternity lab results, about 30% of children in divorce cases were not fathered by the husband.
Getting married is a huge gamble with your life and the current success rate is less than 50%. I am currently married and have been for a long time but if I were ever divorced or a young person starting out I don't think I would ever marry. The odds of being betrayed are just too great.

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Leticia
I married my husband in my mid 20's, and no everything has not been perfect, we have had our ups and downs and our problems. But who doesn't? Marriage is hard, and so is living alone. Life is hard. Getting a JOB is hard. Working at a career or a job takes commitment, and the chances are you won't have that job forever, either. Does that mean people should stop working? Being in a family is hard, whether you are married or not. All relationships are hard, does that mean we should all cut ourselves off from everyone we love? I sure hope not. As many ups and downs as we have had, altogether, my life with my husband has been mostly great. I don't EVEN regret marrying him, and why should I? Just because someone else's husband beat her up? I am sorry for that, but my husband is not like that. I shouldn't have to live my life by other people's demands. I don't OWE certain women ANYTHING just because they had abusive spouses or "jerk" spouses. So sue me, I have a happy marriage. And I am most likely going to stay in that marriage.
I hate the assumption that all women who choose to get married must be depending on the man to take care of them, and that they can't care for themselves. BS!!! I lived alone for over 7 years when I got married. I never got a dime from anyone except from the occasional birthday money from mom and dad. I got my degree while living on my own and even travelled to many different parts of the world either alone or with work. So don't tell me I don't know how to take care of myself!!!
I also hate the assumption that women only get married for the wedding day and not the marriage. We got married at justice of the peace. I hated the idea of the wedding. That was such a bad generalization, I wanted to puke!!
Also, why should I have not gotten married because we "might end up divorced someday"? You know what, I might get laid off from my job someday. Should I have never gotten this job? I might get killed in an accident. Should I never drive again? My mother might die, my friends might move away and never see me again, my dog might get run over, my coworkers might move on. Does that mean I should cut myself off from my mother, my friends, get rid of my dog, and not become friendly with people in the office? So then why should this "gambling" factor mean that I shouldn't have gotten married. BS again!!! Let me tell you- it looks totally unforseeable that we will ever get a divorce. But IF we do, and that is a big IFFFF, then I admit, I will cry for a while. I can't sit here and tell you that it won't hurt, it will. But ultimately, deep down, I will have been better off having been married to him than if I had never met him. That's how wonderful of a person he is. I will have been so thankful for X amount of years with such an awesome person who was my best friend through thick and thin, that it will eventually overshadow any sadness. I will have been an extremely lucky person for having KNOWN him, let alone being married to him. I have been through a lot of pain in my life, and have lost a lot of people and a lot of dreams, and things. But I don't regret having done any of it. To those of you who think "people shouldn't get married", then do everyone a favor and keep that opinion to yourselves, true of your own life. Let others live their lives as they seek fit, and do not overgeneralize. Some of us have made smart choices in who to marry. I apologise if others have not.
<idea.>>
Txguy, you raised a point that I just had to raise an eyebrow at. I don't know if I read you right in #73, but my personal take on the o.p. was instead of titling this "why get married"...maybe it could have been titled "why stay married"...lol. ;)
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