Newsweek - Why get married?
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Newsweek - Why get married?
| Wed, 07-14-2004 - 1:24pm |
There are some interesting responses to the Newsweek article on cheating wives which brings up a question? Why do people still want to get married, on the affair support board many are wanting to marry their affair partner and start the perfect life. If you are a male the court system is going to destroy you in a divorce so why keep getting married. Just a note to start, I think there have allways been just about the same amount on cheating women as men (who would the men have sex with, so it has to be about the same). A recent college study with a lie detector showed that women lie about sex questions and that throws off surveys that don't use them. Over all the percent of cheating women and men has increased over the past thirty years as well as the divorce rate. Currently, according to paternity lab results, about 30% of children in divorce cases were not fathered by the husband.
Getting married is a huge gamble with your life and the current success rate is less than 50%. I am currently married and have been for a long time but if I were ever divorced or a young person starting out I don't think I would ever marry. The odds of being betrayed are just too great.

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I like a certain degree of safety and something to fall back on. I'm not considering the possibility of divorce, I'm just practical in my outlook and know that bad things can happen unexpectedly. My father lost his mother when he was 16 and my boyfriend lost his when he was 7. That's why I like the idea of a dual-income family. I can also see where the stay-at-home parents are coming from, too. Children need someone to stay at home to look after them. For me, it was my grandparents who watched over me when my mom or dad were busy. They were always happy to have me around to play with. :) But I still can understand the point of view stay-at-home parents. Sometimes, there's just no substitute for the presence of a mom or dad at home. As a young child, I know there were times I wished mom and dad were around. This is one of the reasons I am opting to not have children, because I would love to work and not stay at home. In my latter part of my twenties, I see my present and future without kids. But hey, if hubby in the future is willing to stay at home while I work, I'm open to that too. I'm just not a kid type of person. :P
Aria
I agree that *if* mom can stay home and *if* she wants to, then it's great. Unfortunately, it's not an option for everyone. I resent the implications that the family suffers when mom works, but it makes no difference what dad does or how often he's around. And I will say, while I think having a choice nowadays is terrific I also resent the implication that the ONLY thing I should do is make a home in order to have a happy marriage. I think the family is happier when Mom is happy with the choice she made (although working isn't always a 'choice' but some of us learn to deal with it snd are content). It's not better for kids to be home with a Mom who is resentful of being there.
I'm not this huge advocate of working mothers, but I am an advocate of choice, and of doing what you need to, to provide for your family.
The way we love ourselves wether good or bad is reflective in and through the partners we draw to us. So if its good then it shows to you or us the type of love we are expressing.
love Jayz
In your case, you are a brave woman. But then is anyone on here surprised about that? I doubt it. But I don't believe that your choice to stay at home should mean that you take the risk of being abandoned and left financially disadvantaged. But I guess that is a topic for another board. Unfortunately those kind of boards generally only discuss one side of this issue and discourage the other side. We need a board where we talk about women's right to choose and protecting these women and their children.
Robin
cl-issytish and I have worked on including the Happily Married message board on this topic. We felt that the Happily Married board had more experience with discussions like this one since that is one of the types of discussions it actually on in the first place.
I am personally digressing the issue from the article that started it to what has now become the main point of this particular string for some time now:
...why would you bother to get married at all?
Please feel free to check the string, started by member txguy2004, and share your views with the experience of those on the Happily Married board why you feel people should or even should not get married...
...or for that matter, if marriage is even worth it at all. Thank you all, hope to continue getting great responses. As always, these are just opinions with no rights or wrongs, just educating each other with different views, perhaps some we might not have thought of.
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlhappilymar&msg=17870.1&ctx=0
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Mr. Para
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Leticia
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