No foreplay whatsoever.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2004
No foreplay whatsoever.
12
Sun, 02-06-2005 - 1:40pm

I have a fairly new bf and I like him a great deal. He's a very funny, smart and soulful guy. Sex with him is awesome, at least penetration-wise. I always have orgasms and am just massively turned on by him.

However, what is a bit wierd is that there is no, read ZERO, foreplay coming from his side. I typically go down on him for at least 15-20 minutes just to get his penis really warmed up and such. Not only does he not go down on me, sometimes he doesn't do anything at all except maybe caress my arm very briefly and maybe give me a couple of kisses. Usually it's just my own saliva on him that makes insertion work, although sucking him does turn me on and I get a bit lubed up that way. A couple of times when I've been too dry to penetrate and he could feel it, he will just spit into his hand and put a glob of spit on the head of his penis. Then it is slippery enough to penetrate me and we're off to the races, but it's done so nonchalantly that it's a wierd gesture.

I have asked if he would go down on me and he says he does not like the taste. OK, that's fine, but there are different ways of doing foreplay, like using fingers, spit, enthusiasm, etc.

I'm not one of these people who treats oral sex as something that he won't get if he doesn't give. That's not how I am, and I think conversations like that are best avoided. I don't particularly mind sucking on him, as long as he gets that I have a bad gag reflex and can't take much of it in.

I know some of the women he has gone out with before and they are for the most part pretty amazing, and attractive, people. But I think he has an incredibly penis-centric view of sex. He's quite well-endowed so perhaps women have paid unusual attention to it, I don't know. It is all about him emptying his balls and if I get off in the process that's fine but incidental.

I'm not going to break up with him, I adore the guy, but I am just wondering if this is normal or if any of you have ever dealt with guys of this mindset.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 4:12pm

A waste of time and energy? Wow!

Foreplay is the best part. There's nothing like spending quality time over foreplay - the teasing, exploring your partner's body, the build-up, the different sensations, skin flushing and becoming sensitive, breathing quickening, the anticipation building.....

Why would anyone think that foreplay is a waste of time and energy?

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 5:36pm
So, Westie, as a man, what do you think would cause a man to feel this way about foreplay? What would cause him to not enjoy this wonderful part of making love?

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