No Libido--Would Love Suggestions

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2007
No Libido--Would Love Suggestions
2
Mon, 02-04-2008 - 3:37pm

I've never posted to this board before.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2007
Mon, 02-04-2008 - 3:49pm
Welcome to the board! First let me say..I am so sorry for what you went through. You clearly are a strong woman to see what lays before you and want to try to fix it. I know there are a couple of other woman on these boards that probably can help you because they actually can relate and understand. By any chance have did you switch Birth Control or start taking any new meds right around the proposal. I can't think of any advice beyond therapy. I think its very important that you sit down and talk to your husband about this. In a place where you can be alone and no destractions outside of the bedroom so he can understand that it is not him. If he loves you like a husband should then he will be with 100% while you are sorting through this and trying to make things better for yourself. I am sure a couple gals will be able to give you great advice. I do hope it all works out for you and keep coming back. There are alot of great boards. Check out this one. Maybe somebody who can relate can share what they did to help.http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlcrisis
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 2:08pm

Welcome to the board, tar_heel.

Any time you have a traumatic event in your life, it can affect you for years. I myself have had a lot of fears develop or intensify with age, so part of it could have nothing to do with what happened to you as a teen. I do think therapy is the best way to deal with this -- and you may be able to address it in a lot less sessions than you imagine.

I did have some post-traumatic stress from a car accident that seemed to worsen with time, and eventually saw a therapist for 3 sessions, and it made a world of difference. It can really help you to sort out your thoughts, and identify ways to deal with situations that are real vs. those that you fear could happen.

As another member mentioned, your libido could have also been affected by something else, like birth control. If you are on BC, then maybe changing to a different kind would be helpful.

Here are a couple of boards that you might also find helpful on iVillage:

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhptsd

Anxiety, Panic & Phobias
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhpanic

Sexual Abuse Healing
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhsexabuse

Crisis Center: Rape & Suicide
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlcrisis

Mismatched Libidos
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlclashing

Of course, if you would like to ask for advice on ways to improve your sex life, new things to try, meet new friends, etc., feel free to stick around here too. There's a great bunch of people here, and we love to talk about sex -- sometimes, just surrounding yourself with a positive environment can be helpful when trying to turn things around.