No Longer Interested In The Nookie!
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No Longer Interested In The Nookie!
| Thu, 05-10-2007 - 1:15am |
My boyfriend is no longer interested in sex! He doesn't mind if I offer oral sex but when I'm in the mood, he brushes me off and claims he's tired or not in the mood. What's going on? We use to have sex like no tommorrow! I think he's cheating on me.

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First off what makes you think he's cheating?
How long have you been together?
How's work going for him?
Has sex become routine?
Have you asked him if he's stressed about something?
There's lots of reason's he could seem distant.
Think about those questions before you make assumptions.
You should talk to him watch his body language body language talks
more then the mouth. A FBI agent on Kera tv. said that if a person "looks at the
ground when they give answers." "Then they are lying". "Or if they look to the
side and tap there feet then they are lying." In a magazine I read. It said
when a guy looks ((over your head)) instead of looking strait at you then they are
telling the truth. I don't know why they didn't mention the girl. But I have found all of this to stand true in my own experience.
Hope this helps
Kareese
Let us know what happens.
There are all kinds of reasons why men lose interest in sex. Cheating is probably the LAST reason. He could be losing interest in the relationship. Many times problems in the bedroom are the result of problems outside the bedroom. If the relationship isn't going well, the interest in sex doesn't go well, either. He could just be getting lazy and selfish. He doesn't mind you "servicing" him.....he's getting what he wants!
He could have physical problems. A visit to a doctor could rule that out. He might have some emotional problems. Unless you ask, you'll never know.
Most important of all is communication. If you feel like something is wrong, instead of letting your imagination run away with you.....start talking to him, OUT of the bedroom, and ask him what's going on.
Welcome to the board designer_ninanicole.
There are many reasons why his libido may have dropped. It could be that he's having an affair, but it could also be that he's having stress, medical problems, depression, and a long list of other possibilities.
Have you tried to talk to him about why he's lost interest?
What's making you think he's having an affair? Does he have a lot of time that's unaccounted for? Do you feel he's sneaking around and keeping a secret? I think there are usually tell-tale signs of an affair, loosing interest in sex is just one of them.
I wouldn't be offering oral sex to him. I would try to talk to him about what's going on and how you feel -- although I wouldn't accuse him of having an affair. Usually when the newness of the relationship wears off, sex starts to take a back seat. Sometimes you have to make time for sex even if you're not in the mood, and it sounds like he needs to hear that. Some couples find that they plan a date night and they plan sex. It's not as romantic or exciting, but it can help a couple get back on track with their sex life.
Here are some articles that you might also find helpful:
3 Communication Pitfalls to Avoid
http://love.ivillage.com/lnsproblems/lnscommunicate/0,,7mcw,00.html
Solutions to Your Top Two Communication Problems
http://love.ivillage.com/lnsproblems/lnscommunicate/0,,saver_7p3g,00.html
Speak Up! Ask Him for What You Want
http://love.ivillage.com/lnsproblems/lnscommunicate/0,,7ffztdxn,00.html
How can I get my guy to listen?
http://love.ivillage.com/lnsproblems/lnscommunicate/0,,guystellall_9nmljwsn,00.html
8 Warning Signs That Your Man is Having a Midlife Crisis
http://love.ivillage.com/lnsunderstandmen/whathedoes/0,,pnk4,00.html
32 Emotional Signs That He’s Cheating
http://love.ivillage.com/lnsproblems/lnscheating/0,,nt4p,00.html
Keep us posted on how it's going.
my partner in the siggy exchange
"I'm 5'7" at 140 and very attractive might I add, his excuse for hounding me about my looks is that in public people see how pretty I am and how I carry myself at work then when I get home I let my hair down."
Does he want a trophy wife? Everyone needs to be able to let their hair down and relax -- especially when at home. Remind him that vows say "for better, for worse". I think it's nice to dress up for DH, but he damn well better want me when I'm in my sweats too! Love and commitment are not built on looks and lust, that's called infatuation.
Do you think there's a chance that he would attend couples counseling with you before marriage? I think that would be a great place to start.
my partner in the siggy exchange
But I don't know how he wants me to stay in this relationship, holding his hand all the way on how to treat me. I don't want to change him. But he says he's never been in a serious relationship such as this. So, even more so, he should be showing me how much he loves me and that he can't live without. He has to show me. I can't read his mind!
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