No O while being penetrated
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| Tue, 11-27-2007 - 3:02pm |
Hi all.
So a little background: I'm 24 years old and have had two sexual partners. While I enjoy my sex life immensely, I have never been able to achieve orgasm during partner sex (not even with manual or oral stimulation from him). I'm normally not too bothered by not being able to climax. I usually don't feel like I need it, and when I do, I take care of myself while he watches.
So recently, I was touching myself during intercourse and came really close to an O, but just couldn't quite get there. This made me start to wonder, so... the past two nights in a row I have tried clitoral stimulation while being penetrated by a vibrator on a low setting and I'm getting the same result. I start to feel like I'm getting close, I reach a plateau and then it just fizzles out. No release.
I'm just trying to figure out what is preventing me from reaching orgasm with something inside me. It's getting frustrating!
Any thoughts?

I often find a vibrator to be too distracting for me to use inside of me, at least the kind that just vibrate. I prefer a dildo that doesn't vibrate, combined with some sort of vibrator on my clitoris. (The exception to that is the rabbit, which does move inside, but it doesn't vibrate like a traditional vibrator on the inside.) Sometimes I also use ben-wa balls inside while using the vibrator outside. That's if I'm going to use something inside of me.
Sometimes when I'm having partnered sex, if I'm getting close to having an orgasm, I prefer for my partner to lay still and let me do the work -- just helps me hit my spots. I've been with my hubby for 17 years, and he knows how to hit all my spots, so I don't need this so much as I used to, although it's still fun -- and he loves it.
Typically when you stop having orgasms, it's because you're thinking yourself out of them. Sort of jinxing yourself by worry about why your not having one. From what you're describing, it could be that you need to have more control over what's going on so that you can focus in on the most pleasurable spots.
Have you tried WOT (woman on top) positions? If you ask him to lie still while you do your thing, then you may be able to get the feel you need. Also, I have a difficult time holding a vibe in just the right spot sometimes, using my hands. I have a great dildo with a suction-cup base that I can use hands free. You can place it on a chair, table, edge of tub, book on the bed, etc., and ride it much like you would during WOT, and your hands are free to explore or control a vibe on your clit.
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What's preventing you from having an orgasm during intercourse is the fact that you're making it a goal.
I'm glad you found our responses helpful. Feel free to keep posting and asking questions -- you never know who's tip might work just right for you.
Of course, we also love to hear success stories, so when you *do* get there, feel free to share that too.
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