"no oral" land

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2005
"no oral" land
2
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 1:53pm

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years. Shortly after our 2-year anniversary, I found out that I had oral herpes (cold sores), and since then we have not had oral sex, out of fear that I might transfer the condition from my mouth to my boyfriend's genitals. To this day, I have no idea how I got this thing, but this has totally changed a part of our relationship. Any idea what other couples do? I'm in my early 20's, does this mean I have to cut off oral for the rest of my life?

Thanks to anyone who can help out...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 6:41am
Have you been seen by a Dr. for this? What type of Herpes is it? I get cold sores once in a while and was told by my Dr. that it was Herpes Simplex 1, and there was no problem with me perfoming oral. This is what he told me but I would bring it up with your doctor If I were you. (if you haven't)
Avatar for sugarbeat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 1:01am

I would say your doctor is misinformed. There is a general rise in the spread of herpes and it is largely due to oral-genital transmission. However, the risk is greater that it will be transfered from a man's mouth to a woman's genitals.

To the original poster: Why is your bf not concerned about getting oral herpes from kissing you? There's a better chance that he could get it from kissing than from oral. I suggest he get a blood test for type I and II. Many people have it and don't even know they do. Doctors don't routinely test people for herpes because most people would turn up positive. If he finds out he has it maybe he would feel differently. Of course, you can still transfer it from oral to genital (even on yourself).

You might also consider using unlubricated or flavored condoms. They make condoms specially for safer oral sex.