No sex relationship???

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2004
No sex relationship???
7
Thu, 01-06-2005 - 9:16pm
Hi, I am actually trying to get help for my sister. Here is the situation: My sister's boyfriend just has no interest in sex. Or maybe sometimes he feels like having sex...but his "little general" never gets up. They have tried many many times and my sister has tried many many different techniques...and nothing helps. Sometimes he gets so fraustrated that he starts to throw things around (kind of scary if you ask me). My sister has been together with this guy for 3 years... She really loves him. But how long will this sexless relationship last? She is only 23 (he is around 21). Can anyone help???? I feel so sorry for my little sister.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2004
Thu, 01-06-2005 - 9:32pm

Hi Gini:


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IMHO, the guy should get a full physical; especially have the testosterone level checked out.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2004
Thu, 01-06-2005 - 9:54pm
Hi Mac.. thanks for the help..but I don't think he would be willing to see a doctor for it. Judging by what my sister told me... this guy feels really embarrassed already.... I don't think he will be going to get checked out. You know...guys and prides... :-D
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 12:03am

I think your sister needs to re-think this relationship. He sounds like a little kid.....if it doesn't work, he throws tantrums? If this has been going on for three years, and he's to embarassed to see a doctor about it, then it's not going to change.

Does she "love" him, or is he just a "habit" with her? If he throws tantrums about this, what else does he do it about? Doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship. The problem is his, not hers, and if he chooses not to seek help.....there's nothing she can do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 2:47am

The first question that needs to be answered is, does your sister's boyfriend get an erection when he wakes up in the morning?

If he does then the problem is almost certainly emotional.

If he DOSEN'T then the problem is physical and could be detrimental to his health and he MUST see a doctor QUICKLY.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 6:21am

I don't buy the whole "guys and prides" thing. Look at what we women have to do and we are supposed to be the "gentle sex". But if we can go to an obgyn with problems, a man sure can do the equivalent. Heavens, the far majority of my male friends have chosen to have vasectomies - and had no issues with "loosing their manhood".

quite frankly, a real man will seek help - because his partner and the strength of his relationship is more important to him than some dumb "pride" issue. A pride issue belongs firmly in the hands of someone who's not mature enough to have a relationship.

You know, when a man reaches 40, he has to start suffering the indignity of a prostate exam (whooshka) - so he may as well get used to the indigities of seeing doctors now.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2004
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 7:30am
Maybe if he saw the medical problems that can be caused by low testosterone he might. they include but are not limited to: Heart attack, diabetes, you can get alot more info doing a search for low testosterone.
Nancy aka emtmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 12:22pm

What does pride have to do with going to a doctor for a problem.


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